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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.

The chart below shows how frequently people in the USA ate in fast food restaurants between 2003 and 2013.
The graphic illustrates
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
frequency
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 of
people
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 eating fast
food
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 in America over one decade,starting from 2003.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 the largest proportion of
people
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 who ate
at
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apply
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fast
food
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 was once a week,
while
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 the fewest
people
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 who ate
at
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apply
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fast
food
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was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 every day.
Meanwhile
Add a comma
Meanwhile,
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 the most remarkable change in the
frequency
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 was associated
to
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with
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people
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ate
Correct pronoun usage
who ate
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at
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apply
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fast
food
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 once or twice a month.
Fisrt
Correct your spelling
First
at
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of
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alll
Correct your spelling
all
,
people
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 ate
at
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apply
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fast
food
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 once a week with about 31% in 2003.
Then
Linking Words
 increased slightly in 2006 reaching 4% and decreased markedly in 2013 with 2%. The
frequency
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 of
people
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ate at
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eating
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 fast
food
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in
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apply
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once or twice a month with 30% in 2003,and
then
Linking Words
 dropped significantly in the
followed
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following
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 3 years
with
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to
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 5%. After that,there was a sharp rise in 2013
which
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apply
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reaching approximately 8%.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the part of several times a week
growth
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grew
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 in 2006
with
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by
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 4% and
fall
Wrong verb form
fell
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with
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by
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 5% in 2013. Now turning to other parts, the rate of
people
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ate at
Wrong verb form
eating
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 fast
food
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in
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apply
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every day,a few times a year
and
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apply
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never
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained stable at 3%,15% and 4% in 2006 and 2013. All of these reduced minimally with 1%
excepted
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except
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 the
frequency
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 of
people
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 ate at fast
food
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in
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apply
show examples
a few times a year,there was a jump slightly with 2%.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words frequency, people, food with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fast food consumption
  • Frequency
  • Dining trends
  • Demographic factors
  • Peak periods
  • Downward/upward trend
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Nutritional awareness
  • Economic impact
  • Health implications
  • Convenience foods
  • Eating habits
  • Statistical evidence
  • Year-over-year comparison
  • Fluctuation
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