New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?
In
this
technological era, Linking Words
kids
change their behaviour towards utilization of their free Use synonyms
time
. I believe that Its disadvantages overlap with Its advantages which as tech gadgets are addictive and Use synonyms
kids
lose their physical abilities to play various Use synonyms
sports
.
To commence with the merits, nowadays, Use synonyms
kids
Use synonyms
use
their free Use synonyms
time
to relax their minds Use synonyms
as well as
play some video games with their friends. To explain, after relaxing their mind they are more focused towards studies and project work. Linking Words
Hence
, Linking Words
while
using technology they can get Linking Words
along with
their studies and Linking Words
use
It for their benefit.
Shifting towards the demerits, Use synonyms
Firstly
, applications and website companies design their products In a way that attracts more and more children to Linking Words
use
them in their daily routines. Use synonyms
Secondly
, the majority of the organizations build their platform to attract the child and make them addicted towards their application. Linking Words
For Instance
, India banned the TikTok app back In 2020 because It made Indian children more addicted and many school students are mentally sick.
Linking Words
Furthermore
, another disadvantage of Linking Words
this
notion is that Linking Words
kids
tend to spend more Use synonyms
time
on the internet, Use synonyms
due to
which they are not able to play physical Linking Words
sports
. To explicate, Use synonyms
while
using various apps and games they are not given enough Linking Words
time
to play Use synonyms
sports
Use synonyms
such
as cricket, football and volleyball. Eventually, their physical strength gets weaker. Linking Words
For example
, a survey conducted by The University Of California indicates that 77% of school students do not want to play Linking Words
sports
at school Use synonyms
instead
they want to play online games with their friends.
Linking Words
To conclude
, Linking Words
although
Linking Words
this
approach might lead to relaxing their minds or spending Linking Words
time
with friends online yet, the Use synonyms
use
of technology makes Use synonyms
kids
addicted and has a huge impact on their physical strength.Use synonyms
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task achievement
Consider developing your ideas more fully with detailed explanations and examples. For instance, explain more about how video games can help children relax and focus better on their studies.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using transition words or phrases can help improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Avoid repeating information. For instance, instead of mentioning addiction multiple times, focus on varying the points you want to support.
task achievement
You presented a clear opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points of the essay.
task achievement
You provided relevant specific examples, such as the banning of TikTok in India, which help illustrate your points.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.