The relatively recent development of games on phones, computers, and TV consoles is extremely popular with people all over the world. What are the advantages and disadvantages of such electronic games?
Nowadays, different categories of
video
games
have been one of the most famous entertainments across the globe. Some argue there are benefits to relieving stress and training some skills
while
others worry juveniles will be addicted to video
games
.
On one hand, electronic games
provide a platform that reduces stress in their life. It can allow escape from real-life issues and reduce your pressure by participating in the journey of your favourite character in a fantasy world. Serval studies show that people with high-stress
levels Correct your spelling
high stress
spend
a small duration of time on mobile Correct pronoun usage
who spend
games
every day will benefit from regulating their hormones and preventing depression.
Furthermore
, Video
games
can as a tool to educate people on different skills
. The advanced game engines allow the engineers to enter the various parameters to create an accurate simulation of our world. It allows the game to have a similar response as in reality. People will have an opportunity to practice skills
such
as driving a truck or surfing without a chance of injury themselves. For instance
, airline
are adapting flight simulation Fix the agreement mistake
airlines
games
to train their cadet pilot to handle different mechanical failure situations without recreating the accident in the real world which is costly and dangerous.
However
, the upsurge of teenagers who are addicted to electronic games
become a major issue across the globe. The addiction will reduce their productivity which leads to the decline of their academic results. For instance
, research shows a strong correlation between the decline in examination scores and time spent on video
games
in Korean secondary students. Furthermore
,
To summarise, although
electronic games
can release stress and benefit from practising different skills
, we cannot underestimate the adverse effect on teenage
which has Correct your spelling
teenagers
video
game addiction.
advant
:Correct your spelling
advent
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task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed. The essay mentioned the impact of video games on adolescents but did not elaborate on the negative aspects in detail. Expanding on this would improve the completeness of the response.
coherence cohesion
Maintain clarity and standard formal academic language throughout the essay. There were some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings which need attention. For instance, 'the upsurge of teenagers who are addicted to electronic games become a major issue' should be 'the upsurge of teenagers addicted to electronic games has become a major issue'.
task achievement
Good attempt at addressing the task with a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages of electronic games.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are generally clear and relevant, with specific examples, such as the use of flight simulation for pilot training, which adds depth to the argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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