You have recently moved to a new city. Write a letter to an English-speaking friend. In your letter Explain why you moved Describe your new city Tell him/her other news Began your letter as: Dear…
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to enquire about the membership plans available at your fitness facility. I have recently moved to Halifax and
been
in search of a Add a missing verb
have been
gym
for long
Correct article usage
a long
,
until I saw Apex Remove the comma
apply
gym
yesterday during my commute from work.
Let me give you a little background about myself. I am a Capitalize word
Gym
25 year old
software engineer residing at Holland Apartments, which is just opposite Add a hyphen
25-year-old
to
your Change preposition
apply
gym
. Stressful work and unhealthy eating habits has
deteriorated my mental and physical health, which Change the verb form
have
is
turn has made me look up for a Correct your spelling
in
gym
membership in vicinity
.
I would be glad if you Add an article
the vicinity
can
help me with the membership plans offered at your facility, their detailed breakdown costs, and related Wrong verb form
could
committments
if opted for any of them. Does your Correct your spelling
commitments
gym
offer family member plans at discounted rates? Because my parents and wife are fitness enthusiasts and could benefit from such
schemes.
Since I am planning to just get active a bit, I am not looking for heavy-weight training workshops, cardiovascular exercises, or rigorous fitness routines. I am looking at yoga, breathing and rehabilitation routines, and some light physiotherapy.
I hope to hearing
back from you.
Yours faithfully,
David Change the verb
hear
Beckhem
.Correct your spelling
Beckham
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on
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suitable writing tone
You have addressed the main points of your query about the gym membership, but the tone can be a bit more casual since you are writing to a friend.
logical structure
Although you have given a background of yourself, the overall structure could be more logically organized. Try grouping similar information to make the letter flow better.
single idea per paragraph
You should ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea. For instance, the introduction can be separate from the background information, and the details about your needs can be grouped together.
greeting and closing
The greeting and closing are appropriately used.
complete response
You provided a detailed description of the gym requirements and your current health situation.
The Greeting
Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.
Always start an informal letter in the ways:
- Dear + name
- Hi / Hello + name
‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.
For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:
- Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
- Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.