IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Every year several languages die out. Some people think this is not important because life will be easier if there are fewer languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#year #languages #people #life
We cannot deny that the increasing extinction of
languages
 has brought anxiety
as well as
 fun to some individuals.
This
 is because they believe that the more
languages
 die out, the fewer problems we will have to encounter in our lives. From my perspective, I agree with the idea and I will explain the reason why I believe it. On the one hand, the number of
languages
 disappearing will have many drawbacks
such
 as difficulties in reaching agreements on scientific projects, research, trials, etc. For starters, thousands of years ago, people
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passed down many historical relics, ruins, and ancient
languages
.
Therefore
, discovering, excavating, and having a better understanding of the underlying messages of our ancestors are extremely essential.
Therefore
, eliminating some
languages
 will create an abundance of difficulties for archaeologists.
In addition
, scientists
also
 need to learn and research information about the history of ancient medicinal plants, which is challenging. What’s more, if that dialect disappears, it will be like losing its national character and that country will become extinct.
On the other hand
, the disappearance of some minority
languages
 brings a great number of benefits
such
 as connection, education, etc.
First,
when we terminate various
languages
, we can save a lot of money because having too many
languages
 will cause several students to attend language classes.
In addition
, when the sound is unified, learning about education in plenty of developed countries will make it easier for parents to easily teach and help children develop in a better environment.
Secondly
, as we speak the same language, we can limit the risk of misunderstanding or being deceived when signing large contracts. All in all, eliminating language brings a lot of benefits, but sadly, those expressions are not noticed by a plethora of people and almost no one cares. If major
languages
 disappear, it will greatly affect the world and voice is
also
 the simplest way to clearly express sovereignty.
Submitted by jakelong16091994 on

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relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure your ideas are clearly articulated and expanded upon. Some of the points made about the disappearance of languages and its impact could be elaborated more effectively.
logical structure
Your essay is generally well-structured, but try to make the logical connections between points even clearer. This will improve the coherence and cohesion of your writing.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets up the essay well. It provides a good context for your arguments.
complete response
You present a balanced view by acknowledging both sides of the argument. This demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Linguistic diversity
  • Cultural heritage
  • Endangered languages
  • Homogenization
  • Multilingualism
  • Language preservation
  • Cognitive benefits
  • Global communication
  • Intellectual diversity
  • Ecological knowledge
  • Cultural traditions
  • Communication barriers
  • Preservation efforts
  • Technological solutions
  • Language revival
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