In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

According to
data, the number of crimes committed by
teenagers
is growing. there are many countries having problems with crimes and violence around
teenagers
. in my opinion, in the digital era,
teenagers
can access many resources about violent content. they can see on many platforms social media and games. those could have a negative impact if they were always consumed
about
Change preposition
by
show examples
that.
For example
, there was a case in my city. A teenager commits violence against his friends, who have watched on
tik tok
Correct your spelling
TikTok
about bullying
practice
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practices
show examples
in
other school
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another school
other schools
show examples
. He
inspired
Add a missing verb
was inspired
show examples
after
watched
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
that content.
Furthermore
, many
teenagers
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
addictive
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addicted
show examples
with
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to
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alcohol and drugs. these make
teenagers
agrresive
Correct your spelling
aggressive
and do something in a
non sense
Add a hyphen
non-sense
show examples
. they can easily buy on the
market place
Correct your spelling
marketplace
show examples
online with low
price
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prices
show examples
. I think
,
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apply
show examples
the big problem for
this
case is how
parents
and teacher monitor their children and students. The
teenagers
do like those because they have
acces
Correct your spelling
access
unlimited and their
parents
don't pay attention
about
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to
show examples
the effect of that. I suggest that the young generation should join many positive
activity
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activities
show examples
in their school or community
for
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to
show examples
reduce
this
problem.
However
, the young generation is the leader
for
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of
show examples
tomorrow. So the
parents
and the teacher have
responsibility
Add an article
a responsibility
the responsibility
show examples
to monitor and direct our
teenagers
in
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
way. We can teach them as early as possible in every single stage. we should remember that The
parents
are the first and main teachers as long as their children
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
. so The first step, the
parents
can give directions on what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good and bad
thing
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things
show examples
, what is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sin, what is the right and wrong way, and what is negative and
also
positive
thing
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things
show examples
. and
secondly
, the best teaching is by role model. before
parents
give lessons to their children, they should do that as well.
in Conclusion
Correct your spelling
In conclusion
show examples
, the Crime issue
is still remains
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still remains
show examples
until
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apply
show examples
now
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in
Change preposition
among
show examples
teenagers
. Data show many young generations commit violence against their friends.
For
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To
show examples
reduce
this
issue, we should work together to give the best treatment and
preventive
Replace the word
prevention
show examples
for
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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grammar
Work on improving sentence structure and grammar to ensure clarity. There are several grammatical errors that could be distracting and affect the overall quality.
examples
Ensure that you elaborate on each point with more relevant examples and details to strengthen your arguments.
vocabulary
Try to use more varied vocabulary and avoid repetition to make your essay more engaging.
structure
Improve the logical structure by clearly separating different ideas and points into distinct paragraphs.
understanding
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and addresses both reasons and solutions effectively.
examples
The essay includes specific examples which help illustrate the points, such as the TikTok bullying example.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the importance of addressing the issue collaboratively.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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