It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?
There is a statement that advocates for the obligation of taking
risks
in personal and professional lives for individuals to succeed. this
essay will illustrate why its pros outweigh the cons.
To commence with, while
the human mind tends to stay in its comfort zone to avoid potential challenges, nowadays developments are attributed to individuals' efforts who take risks
and embrace challenges leading to innovations and progress. For instance
, the American continent was discovered when some people
decided to pace in open waters, which was far more stressful in that era while
the world was just summarized in Europe.
Moreover
, although
the human brain is planned for its survival and taking risks
is in conflict with its survival, in the absence of courage, it’s unlikely to achieve significant accomplishments, as the majority of successful people
debate that however
treating the opposite of the conventional mindset is demanding and needs a determined personality, at the end
it would worth it. furthermore
, risks
offer opportunities, which foster a background preparing individuals to encounter tough circumstances. Elon Musk is a great example, in the spite that he could invest in renowned industries to escape challenges, he dedicated his time and properties to his ambition and today his more successful than could be, although
he was close to being bankrupt a few times.
To sum up
, despite the brain set to keep people
in their comfort zone which deters humans from any potential backwards and offers a usual risk-free life, the contemporary world owes its improvement to people
taking risks
in their personal and professional lives which leads to innovation and huge overcomes which absolutely outweigh downsidesSubmitted by ali.homayoni93 on
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introduction
Ensure that your introduction is concise and clearly states your position. The current introduction is slightly vague and can be more focused.
logical structure
While your main points are clear, some ideas can be better organized and connected with smoother transitions. This will help in maintaining coherence and making the essay easier to follow.
supported main points
Work on providing more detailed explanations and examples to support your main points. This will help in making your arguments more convincing.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay effectively discusses the importance of taking risks both in personal and professional lives, giving relevant examples such as the discovery of the American continent and Elon Musk's ventures.
logical structure
The essay has a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
relevant specific examples
You have included specific examples to support your points, such as the historical example of the American continent's discovery and the modern example of Elon Musk, which strengthens your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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