Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leiure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays shopping is considered one of the most engaging activities for youngsters to spend their spare

time

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. In my opinion, there are several factors that directly affect young

people

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's shopping behaviours and preferences which result in a negative development.

Firstly

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people

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tend to spend a significant proportion of their leisure

time

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purchasing various goods and services that align with their preferences.

This

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growing trend is prevalent , especially among younger adults who enjoy sauntering in different malls. The main cause of

this

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tendency is

people

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's constant exposure to advertisements that promote numerous

products

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and unconsciously compel them to make impulsive purchases.

For example

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, companies employ various social media platforms,

such

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as Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube, to make

people

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familiarize

with

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themselves with

show examples

their

products

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. Being aware of

this

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common practice,

people

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are exposed to those promotions on a daily basis and consider buying those goods even if they do not actually need them.

Therefore

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, they prefer to use their free

time

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by looking for those

products

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Secondly

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, making constant purchases might lead consumers to squander all their money on the

products

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they can live without.

This

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activity actively encourages customers to splurge on luxury items or expensive clothing without taking the consequences of those purchases into account.

As a result

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people

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can actually run out of money and might encounter serious financial challenges.

Furthermore

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this

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tendency might increase the prevalence of materialism among

people

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and motivate them to possess more in order to feel happier and more valuable.

For instance

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,there are certain

people

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who believe in the therapeutic effects of shopping, which is the instant happiness it provides that only

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last

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lasts

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temporarily.

Hence

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, persuading

people

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to believe in that theory is the calculated strategy implemented by certain businesses which results in a lack of happiness and satisfaction levels among

people

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To conclude

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, I believe spending

time

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in shopping centres has detrimental influences on

people

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and

stimulate

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stimulates

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them to splash out their money without thinking and be happy with material items which is a negative development that many

people

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struggle with.

NarminSat Jul 13 2024

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task response

To enhance the Task Response, try to broaden the range of examples and make sure they clearly connect to the points you are making. Additionally, explain more thoroughly why some behaviors are considered negative or positive.

coherence cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, consider using a variety of linking words and phrases. This will help to make the essay flow more smoothly and make your argument easier to follow. Try avoiding repetition of certain phrases and words.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported with specific examples, which strengthens the argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leiure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that hosting an international sports event is good for the country, while some people think it is bad. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Because the modern technology, it is no longer necessary for people to learn handwriting skill, but others believe that handwriting is still an important skill. Discuss both sides and give your opinion base on your experience.

Some people say that the Olympic Games no longer have a role to play in the 21st century. To what extent do you agree or disagree?