SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT LIVING IN BIG CITIES IS BAD FOR PEOPLE’S HEALTH. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #cities #people’s #health

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some

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recent years, the issue of residing in mega

cities

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which affects

people

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health

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badly has gained significant attention. In my opinion, I consider myself

Change preposition

apply

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a proponent of

this

Linking Words

idea. There are justifiable reasons to note that big

cities

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have some harmful elements to resident's

health

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. In big

cities

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, the number of vehicles which emit radial

gas

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, carbon footprint, and greenhouse

gas

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are ever-increasing.

This

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action negatively influences

people

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's lung cancer. As seen in Hanoi, which is the most remarkable instance, it is a contaminated city because of the great amount of

gas

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in vehicles.

Moreover

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, the released

gas

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can

also

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lead to respiratory problems

such

Linking Words

as asthma which is difficult to treat completely.

Hence

Linking Words

, living in the

cities

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can negatively affect

people

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health

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. Admittedly, there is

emperical

Correct your spelling

empirical

evidence suggesting that big

cities

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can trigger bad listening ability. Chief of these is that sound pollution is the annoying sound which affects the relaxation and working process.

That is

Linking Words

the reason why

people

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health

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is greatly affected. Some bad examples are the vehicle's horn,

loud

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and loud

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singing can be marked as

some

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apply

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noticeable instances which make

people

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stressed or even lose their hearing ability. The longer

this

Linking Words

phenomenon lasts, the weaker the mental

health

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or physical

health

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of urban residents is. Thereby, sound pollution is one of the environmental problems that

people

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are greatly affected by. In my conclusion,

people

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’s

health

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is more and more affected by some environmental pollution problems which we have to prevent or

repell

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repel

repeal

because of their negative influence.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Sun Jul 14 2024

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coherence & cohesion

Ensure that there is clear and consistent use of vocabulary to maintain a high level of coherence.

task achievement

Try to further develop some of the ideas and provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help in achieving a more comprehensive response.

general

Maintain formality in language and check for any minor grammatical errors that could hinder clarity.

coherence & cohesion

The essay has a clear and concise introduction and conclusion, providing a strong overall structure.

task achievement

The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing relevant issues related to health impacts in big cities.

task achievement

Good use of specific examples, such as the reference to Hanoi, which adds credibility and relevance to the argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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SOME PEOPLE THINK THAT LIVING IN BIG CITIES IS BAD FOR PEOPLE’S HEALTH. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

It is widely believed that the remaining increase in the global citizens is the biggest ultimatum accost by people in currency. Personally, I completely disagree with this view for a variety of reasons.

Every country has poor people, and every country has different ways of dealing with poverty. What are some of the reasons for world poverty? How can the poor be helped? Give reason for your answers and include any relevant examples for your own knowledge and experience.[354]

The use of mobile phone is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phone should be banned like smoking. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

some children spend hours everyday on smartphones. Why is this case? Is it a positive or negative development?