Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness, while others argue that it is related to factors from personal life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #individuals #happiness #factors #life

Happiness

plays the most crucial role in everybody's life, where many

people

believe that intrinsic qualities of human beings breed bliss,

while

others argue that various external elements influence the state.

Nevertheless

, I agree with the latter opinion, owing to the significant impact of

such

factors on personalities. On the one hand, individuals bear the responsibility of incorporating

happiness

into their lives.

In other words

happiness

is not gained,

instead

people

should seek it by altering their perspectives, in a manner, that provides them

Add the preposition

with a

show examples

state of cheerfulness. In several circumstances,

for instance

, drought, where the surrounding environment cannot be supplanted, being thankful and grateful for whatever has been attained does induce contentment;

whereas

, very often even the rich members of the society, despite being laden with money, do not appear to be contended, simply because they may not ever settle for anything being achieved.

Hence

, the degree of

happiness

solely depends on how

people

view their lives and to how much extent they feel contended with their possessions

On the other hand

, external forces have an influential role in the joviality of

people

. To elaborate on

this

, not only does physical health hugely affect lifestyles, but

also

mental well-being is of the utmost importance in promoting cheerfulness.

For example

, in spite of being wealthy, there are numerous illnesses,

such

as genetically transmitted diseases, that cannot be treated with money, beget gloominess in

such

people

as they cannot attain sustainable lifestyles.

Thus

happiness

alters substantially

due to

the overwhelming participation of personal units comprising health and education. To encapsulate, it can be concluded that even though, the virtue of gratefulness sources

happiness

, which can be attributed to

people

's persona, numerous other factors, among which health has a pivotal role, dominates over

people

's mood state relatively more.

Submitted by hadia.iftikhar126 on Sun Jul 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

clear comprehensive ideas

Increase the clarity of ideas throughout the essay. Some sentences are overly complex, which makes it harder for the reader to grasp your points. Simpler sentence structures can help improve clarity.

logical structure

Integrate linking words and phrases more smoothly to improve the cohesiveness of your essay. This will help make transitions between ideas clearer and the overall flow more natural.

complete response

You provided a well-balanced discussion of both sides of the argument, which effectively addresses the task prompt.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, helping to frame your essay well.

relevant specific examples

The examples you used are relevant and support your points effectively, which strengthens your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

14Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

296 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.
A controversial discussion point is whether individuals can have a positive impact on the environment. This writer believes that the environment can be protected due to the reduction in industry and investment in public transportation.
6
band
Nowadays people prefer to shop in large supermarkets rather than nearby local shops, why do you think this is happening?is this a positive or negative trend
In today's society, buying accessories and kinds of stuff from large supermarkets is getting more popular rather than from the local shop. In order to examine both sides of this contentious issue, I will also offer my own perspective in the following paragraph paragraphs.
5.5
band
In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?
It is an alarming fact that there has been a sharp decline in the number of plants and animals in many countries recently. There are many reasons for this problem to be the case, but also a lot of solutions to this.
5
band
in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
These days, people are becoming more and more interested to urban life ,so a large group of people who lived in rural areas are starting new life in big cities and it causes to have a decrease in rural's population.I think it can have some negative effects for countries ,and in this essay i will explain more my reasons with examples.
<4
band
Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?
Many governments beleive that key success of country is economic growth while some people critisize that for the progress of country other kinds of development are also necessary . I agree with this notion , Although without better economy country could not make progress but government must not ignore other prime factors. For example , health advancement ,cultural progress and social values .On one hand , Goverments of every nation try to boost the economy . Finance is the key factor for every country's progress .when economy makes growth it rises the status of country in the world .

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Some people believe that individuals are responsible for their happiness, while others argue that it is related to factors from personal life. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

Nowadays people prefer to shop in large supermarkets rather than nearby local shops, why do you think this is happening?is this a positive or negative trend

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+