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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some societies the number of crimes committed by teenagers is growing. What are the reasons for this trend? And what possible solutions could reduce this issue?

#societies #crimes #teenagers #trend
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In lots of communities, the number of offences performed by teenagers has heightened. The reasons and some possible solutions will be discussed below.
To begin
 with, it is important to know there are many reasons why younger people have done more crimes recently.
First,
the schools are not giving the students enough activities
also
 homework. It means that if a student has enough activities at home he/she can not waste her time.
For example
, if a student has an art project, s/he can not hang out with her friends and do lots of things.
Second,
the authorities choose punishments which are not restrictive enough.
In other words
, the current penalties can not stop the crimes. To illustrate, a teenager is jailed for only one month in a case of robbery.
However
, there are some remedies to face the mentioned problems. In order to deal with
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of sufficient assignments, the schools should choose a more practical policy and they should assign activities that engage the students for longer periods.
On the other hand
, parliaments Of
this
 countries are supposed to set laws that are much stricter.
For example
, a thief must be abandoned from the school forever. In conclusion,
although
 there are some reasons and possible solutions for rising wrongdoings by teens, the school and government are the most responsible for stopping these crimes in the future.
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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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