1.Some people believe that no one should be allowed to continue working after the age of 65. However, others say there shouldn’t be a limitation on age, and anyone should be allowed to work regardless of their age. Discuss both views, give your opinion and include relevant examples.
To begin
, it is thought that individuals should be accepted to maintain working regardless of their age because it contributes to the increase of workforces in societies as well as
decrease the burden of finance for retired organizations. For example
, in developed countries, such
as The US labour is a big trouble and they must hire employees from developing countries and underdeveloped countries, like, Vietnam, Thailand, Lao and much more. Therefore
, the regulation of retirement
is 67 years
old in America partly helps to solve the shortage of workforce issue. This
regulation also
helps to shorten the time of retirement
, which means the payment for retirement
also
will drop.
On the other hand
, others argue that people over 65 years
old should be prevented to continue working because they have both physical and mental health problems, such
as cardiovascular disease, diabetes, high blood pressure, memory loss and much more . Hence
, it will be easy to have injuries in the process of working. Furthermore
, nowadays, employers require employees the particular knowledge of technology, and this
seems that workers after 65 years
old are outdated and unsuitable. To illustrate, If those who are over 65 years
old work
in a sales department, they will not have enough health to stand and convince customers hours. Regarding, manual work
such
as building, the elderly will be easy to fall down or dizzy if they work
outside and under sunny. Consequently
, to ensure the safety of people and properties, we should avoid letting individuals after 65 years
old continue working.
In conclusion, some believe that people should be allowed to go on to work
at all ages because it helps to address the shortage of labour problems as well as
to reduce the burden of retirement
payments.; However
, I believe that citizens after the age of 65 should be banned to keep on working because their health is not only unsafety at work
but also
poor productivity.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
Focus on providing a clearer introduction, outlining both views briefly before discussing them. The introduction can be more engaging to set the context.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically to support the main points effectively. This will enhance the coherence and cohesion of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Use more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases to link ideas smoothly. This can help to improve the overall writing flow and readability.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views, providing relevant supporting examples.
task achievement
The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and provides a clear stance on the issue.
task achievement
Each main point is well-supported with relevant examples and explanations, which strengthens the argument.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion