IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.

The charts below show the performance of a bus company in terms of punctuality, both actual and target (what actually happened compared to what the company was trying to achieve), and the number of complaints and passengers.
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The diagrams below
compares
Change the verb form
compare
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 the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
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 of buses which
incoming
Add a missing verb
are incoming
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 on time and
lamentation
Correct article usage
the lamentation
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 of passengers from 1999 to 2003.
Overall
Linking Words
, during
this
Linking Words
five - year
Correct your spelling
five-year
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 period, in 1999 remained the biggest indicator with 85% and 86%
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
arriving on time, with all other times of service. In 2000 there was
sharp
Add an article
a sharp
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 drop from 85% to 82%,
also
Linking Words
 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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was the lowest index in
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 chart.
However
Linking Words
, the degree become increasing and was stable to the end of 2003
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 85%. It is interesting to note that
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the beginning of
target
Correct article usage
the target
show examples
 was stable
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 86%,
while
Linking Words
 from 2001 it
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
started to decrease,
also
Linking Words
 only in 2003 target index was lower than
actual
Correct article usage
the actual
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. As can be seen from the second diagram, was number of complaints in the beginning was
small
Add an article
a small
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 amount of appeal and each year was increased. In the 2003 was the biggest displeasure people was 120 from 1000.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "diagrams" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • punctuality
  • target versus actual performance
  • correlation
  • consistency
  • trends
  • passenger numbers
  • complaints
  • assessment
  • measures taken
  • impact
  • effectiveness
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