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Writing Samples /
Band 6

One of your friends in a foreign country is starting an import-export business, and he has asked you to recommend a product from your country to him. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, -Say what product you want to recommend to him -Tell him/her where he/she can get this product -Explain why you want to recommend this product

#friends #country #business #product #friend #-say #-tell #-explain
Dear Mary, How
your
Add an auxiliary verb
is your
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 business going? I am so glad to hear that you have completed the redeclaration of your house, hope you can find the furniture
matches
Correct pronoun usage
that matches
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 the theme of the house. Anyway, the reason it writing to you is that
i
Change the capitalization
I
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finally
 come up with an idea
on
Change preposition
for
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 the product I will introduce to you to export from my country. It is a handmade chopstick which rarely found on the European market. You can order the chopstick strictly from the manufacturer, I can introduce some producers I am familiar with to you which allow you to design your own colour and graphic print on the product. It will allow you
customize
Fix the infinitive
to customize
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 the product exclusively for a particular market, it help boost your company image by providing unique items that your competitor did not have.
Furthermore
, chopsticks are compact in size without the requirement
on
Change preposition
of
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 temperature and humidity control. the cost of transportation and storage are lower than other products. Hope you may found my suggestion useful. I look forward to hearing from you. Best wishes, Mason
Submitted by andy1031227 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your ideas into clear, separate paragraphs for better readability. For example, you can have one paragraph for introducing your product, one for explaining where to get it, and one for why you recommend it.
task achievement
Proofread your letter to correct some minor grammatical errors and typos. For example, 'the reason it writing to you' should be 'the reason I am writing to you,' and 'hope you may found my suggestion' should be 'hope you may find my suggestion.'
task achievement
Try to maintain a consistent tone. Some parts of your letter are quite formal, while others are more casual. Decide on the tone and stick with it throughout the letter.
task achievement
You have addressed all parts of the task by recommending a product, telling where it can be sourced, and explaining why you recommend it.
coherence cohesion
Your closing and greeting are appropriate and add a friendly touch to the letter.
task achievement
You have provided a detailed explanation of why you recommend the product, adding value to your friend's business.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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