IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
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In recent decades,
community
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services
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 have played a vital role in developed societies. One controversial issue, these days, is whether high school programs must contain
community
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services
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 with no wage. Not only do some proponents advocate
this
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 issue, but
also
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 the opponents take a reverse side. On the one hand, the adversaries argue that if the work or behaviour of a human is unwilling and performed by force, there will be no benefit for himself or the
community
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,
therefore
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 it has to be voluntary to illustrate a habit in people. Another justification is high school is an important time for every child,
hence
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 it will be delightful provided that they can concentrate on their projects and subjects.
Nevertheless
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, the adherents have their analogy. Primarily governments must have aid from people, especially young generations with full energy to help others.
In addition
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, it is wise to explore that maybe children don’t understand the reason high schools put unpaid
community
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services
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 in their routine,
however
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, it helps with their adult life by improving their skills and behaviour on every surface of society,
for instance
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, they learn to help people in need unconditionally.
Last
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 but not least,
community
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services
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 teach kids that to aid stranger human species, there is no need for money and it needs just motivation and a good heart.
To conclude
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, even though some may disagree with the given issue, I tend to agree with it
due to
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 the importance of the only reason that humankind is continuing to live and survive is the fact that we stick together and help each other.
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Task Achievement
Consider using more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help to clarify and reinforce your points, making your essay more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
For a higher score in coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs with more varied linking phrases. This will enhance the flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively address the task, presenting a balanced view with reasons supporting both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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