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Band 7.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighborhood #sports #children
In recent decades,
community
services
 have played a vital role in developed societies. One controversial issue, these days, is whether high school programs must contain
community
services
 with no wage. Not only do some proponents advocate
this
 issue, but
also
 the opponents take a reverse side. On the one hand, the adversaries argue that if the work or behaviour of a human is unwilling and performed by force, there will be no benefit for himself or the
community
,
therefore
 it has to be voluntary to illustrate a habit in people. Another justification is high school is an important time for every child,
hence
 it will be delightful provided that they can concentrate on their projects and subjects.
Nevertheless
, the adherents have their analogy. Primarily governments must have aid from people, especially young generations with full energy to help others.
In addition
, it is wise to explore that maybe children don’t understand the reason high schools put unpaid
community
services
 in their routine,
however
, it helps with their adult life by improving their skills and behaviour on every surface of society,
for instance
, they learn to help people in need unconditionally.
Last
 but not least,
community
services
 teach kids that to aid stranger human species, there is no need for money and it needs just motivation and a good heart.
To conclude
, even though some may disagree with the given issue, I tend to agree with it
due to
 the importance of the only reason that humankind is continuing to live and survive is the fact that we stick together and help each other.
Submitted by arian.trade.cs on

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Coherence & Cohesion
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Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly presented, effectively framing your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively address the task, presenting a balanced view with reasons supporting both sides of the argument before concluding with your own opinion.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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