Instead of training a few athletes to win medals at the Olympics, governments should spend the money on programmes encouraging the public to be active and stay healthy. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many people believe that the government should invest more money in

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

opportunities for average inhabitants, rather than training only a few individuals for the Olympics. In my opinion, it is crucial to help the society stay healthy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and develop in physical

movement

Use synonyms

. It is commonly known that people who are regularly exercising are more efficient at work. Physical

movement

Use synonyms

has a great influence on our memory,

as well as

Linking Words

resilience. Workers who would be encouraged to stay healthy would,

for example

Linking Words

, achieve more goals at work and that could be beneficial for the government.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, teaching people about sports and healthy diets will help the environment. In present times, many of us use cars to transport

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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and eat a lot of junk food. Spreading awareness about climate change could encourage a plethora of individuals,

for instance

Linking Words

, to ride a bike to school or work, or eat less fast food. Thanks to that, politicians can be portrayed as activists who are trying to save the Earth.

Moreover

Linking Words

, making young ones aware of the importance of physical

movement

Use synonyms

and a

well balanced

Add a hyphen

well-balanced

show examples

diet, can create a strong and intelligent generation in the future. It is known that eating healthy ingredients has a positive outcome on our bodies and brains.

Also

Linking Words

, teaching about our ecosystem and the necessity of doing sports can help raise an aware generation who,

for example

Linking Words

, will be more responsible about taking care of their future children.

To sum

Linking Words

Add a comma

up,

show examples

everything that has been said, the government should focus on the whole society and help it to become more concerned about

their

Correct pronoun usage

its

show examples

health issues. It is important to be aware of climate changes,

as well as

Linking Words

the advantages of a

well balanced

Add a hyphen

well-balanced

show examples

diet and physical

movement

Use synonyms

bandrowskaagnieszka1Sun Jul 14 2024

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task achievement

While your essay demonstrates a clear position and provides relevant points, it could be strengthened by offering more specific examples and elaborating on some of your arguments. This will enhance your overall persuasiveness.

coherence cohesion

Your essay shows a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, consider refining your transitions between paragraphs to improve the overall flow of your ideas. Use more cohesive devices such as 'furthermore', 'in addition', and 'consequently' to link your points more effectively.

task achievement

Your essay has a clear and relevant introduction that sets the context and states your position on the topic effectively.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your key points and reiterates your position, providing a sense of closure.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

289 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

reallocate
mass health improvement
national health issues
foster a sense of community
boost morale
lifestyle
public health programs
government’s commitment
national pride
Olympic success
physical activity
discovery of new talents
elite athletes
balanced approach
physical and mental health benefits
inspiring national pride
unity
elite sports
innovation
sports science and technology

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

Shopping is now one of the most famous forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. What is the reason? Is it positive or negative?

Not enough students around the world choose to study science subjects at university.

Some people believe that there should be a fixed punishment for all types of crime. Others feel that the circumstances of an offence should be taken into account when deciding on a punishment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

One of your friends recently had a birthday celebration, but you missed it and, you forgot to tell your friend that you couldnt attend.

The money spent on space research has brought enormous benefits to mankind, but it could be more usefully applied. To what extent do you agree or disagree?