IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to trav a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.el to or work in

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Many individuals argue that travelling to other countries is the only reason for studying international
languages
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,
while
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 others believe there are many benefits
of
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to
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 learning different
languages
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.
Although
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 learning a foreign
language
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 is important for travelling,
this
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 essay will discuss other benefits of learning a foreign
language
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. And
i
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I
show examples
 believe when
people
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 know different
languages
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, they can communicate with other nationalities easily. Travelling is the main reason
of
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for
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 teaching individuals a foreign
language
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, which is
help
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to help
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people
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 to go anywhere without
language
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 barriers, it makes them enjoy
on
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apply
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other
cultural
Replace the word
cultures
show examples
 and understand everything.
For example
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, there is a new study shows the number of tourists who know other
languages
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 increased, which means they felt free to participate in different societies.
However
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,
although
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 travelling abroad
considered
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is considered
show examples
as
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apply
show examples
a good reason to learn an international
language
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, there are many advantages more effective than travel. Teaching a foreign
language
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 has a huge effect on
brain
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 development, which is challenging our
brain
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,and it is improving rapidly.
Moreover
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, there is one part in our brains , especially for
language
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, so it is essential to learn different
languages
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 to use that part.
For example
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, recent research found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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brain
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 cells increased significantly during knowing others'
language
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. In my opinion, learning many
languages
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 has good results in our communication skills, we can talk with each other without any barriers.
For instance
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have friends from different nationalities and
i
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I
show examples
 can get in touch with them . In conclusion, many
people
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 think that we learn foreign
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language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 only for travelling,
while
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 others say that teaching other
languages
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 helps our
brain
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 to develop fast. I think that we have to know different
languages
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such
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 as English, it helps us to communicate with other
people
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 from different countries.

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task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully developed in detail.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the development of ideas to create a balanced argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses both views in the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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