IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to trav a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.el to or work in

#people #reason #language #trav #country #someone #el #work
Many individuals argue that travelling to other countries is the only reason for studying international
languages
,
while
 others believe there are many benefits
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 learning different
languages
.
Although
 learning a foreign
language
 is important for travelling,
this
 essay will discuss other benefits of learning a foreign
language
. And
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe when
people
 know different
languages
, they can communicate with other nationalities easily. Travelling is the main reason
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 teaching individuals a foreign
language
, which is
help
Fix the infinitive
to help
show examples
people
 to go anywhere without
language
 barriers, it makes them enjoy
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
cultural
Replace the word
cultures
show examples
 and understand everything.
For example
, there is a new study shows the number of tourists who know other
languages
 increased, which means they felt free to participate in different societies.
However
,
although
 travelling abroad
considered
Add a missing verb
is considered
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a good reason to learn an international
language
, there are many advantages more effective than travel. Teaching a foreign
language
 has a huge effect on
brain
 development, which is challenging our
brain
,and it is improving rapidly.
Moreover
, there is one part in our brains , especially for
language
, so it is essential to learn different
languages
 to use that part.
For example
, recent research found that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
brain
 cells increased significantly during knowing others'
language
. In my opinion, learning many
languages
 has good results in our communication skills, we can talk with each other without any barriers.
For instance
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have friends from different nationalities and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 can get in touch with them . In conclusion, many
people
 think that we learn foreign
language
Fix the agreement mistake
languages
show examples
 only for travelling,
while
 others say that teaching other
languages
 helps our
brain
 to develop fast. I think that we have to know different
languages
such
 as English, it helps us to communicate with other
people
 from different countries.
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure all parts of the task are fully developed in detail.
task achievement
Work on providing more specific examples to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical flow between sentences and paragraphs for better coherence.
coherence cohesion
Work on the development of ideas to create a balanced argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion and addresses both views in the discussion.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present and contribute to the overall cohesion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: