IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some communities believe that competition at work ,school and in everyday life is acceptable and it’s good
while
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others
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 argue that cooperating is better than competing against each other .
This
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 essay will discuss both views and explain my opinion . On one hand ,people think that being competitive at a job or in life
overall
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 is better than being cooperative because they see that competition gives the person more value among other communities, and if you are competitive at a job you can get a better position and that person will have more respect from public ,
according to
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 a study by the university of Oxford , students who were competitive in their study get better grades and showed a leader features like independence and the self-confidence,were as the other students who were cooperating with
others
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 had lower marks and
also
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 they could not depend on their self on simple tasks .
On the other hand
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 , people believe that participation is better because in a job
for example
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 they will produce better assignments and be more creative .
Moreover
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, you will gain admiration
,
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apply
show examples
and respect and you will be destined among the community if you are cooperative with people . In another research on a workspace in a company, the value of the company rises because the workers showed cooperation in their work. In conclusion ,
although
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 both views have valid arguments, I believe that competition in work or daily life is better than cooperation with
others
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,
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apply
show examples
 because I would like to have a position in any place I will be in ,cooperation with
others
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 means that you all are the same .

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly present both views in your introduction. Mention that you will discuss both sides before stating your opinion.
coherence cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each paragraph to show what you will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammatical errors and try to use more varied sentence structures to make your writing flow better.
task achievement
You presented both views on the topic, which is a good way to show understanding of the question.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your points, which helps to clarify your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
What to do next:
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