IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cities #health
There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that residing in massive
cities
 adversely affects the physical
health
 of residents. I have given my justification below. Recent years have seen significant attention given to the environmental issues in
cities
 that falsely affect
people
's
health
. The first I would like to mention is that living in urban
areas
 is beneficial for
people
's
health
 thanks to how easily accessible the medical system is in
this
 day and age.
Furthermore
,
hospitals
 in urban
areas
 are located everywhere in the city and residential
areas
, making it easy and time-saving for
people
 to access whenever they need it.
For example
, Ahmadi Hospital is very large and can provide enough services for patients but the Abu-Halifa Hospital is still located nearby.
Hence
, easy access to
hospitals
 helps patients receive faster treatment.
In contrast
, many individuals residing in rural
areas
 often face challenges in
hospitals
due to
 their remote locations.
People
 frequently must travel long distances to receive medical treatment, leading to critical delays in emergency situations.
For instance
, those living in mountainous regions may spend days
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to reach medical facilities,
whereas
cities
 have numerous
hospitals
 that provide daily high-quality medical care.
Consequently
,
hospitals
 in rural
areas
 are hindered by their distant placement from residential
areas
.
To conclude
, living in big
cities
 does not bring negative
health
 effects but helps
people
 prioritize their
health
, thanks to the accessibility and advanced infrastructure of urban
hospitals
.
Submitted by ahv on

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task achievement
Expand on the counterargument about the negative effects of living in big cities on health. While the essay argues effectively for the benefits, acknowledging and addressing potential downsides thoroughly would make the response more balanced.
coherence cohesion
Ensure clarity in topic sentences for each paragraph. While the ideas presented are clear, slightly refining the initial sentences would help immediately signal the direction of each paragraph.
task achievement
The essay successfully presents a clear argument supporting the idea that living in big cities can be beneficial for health due to accessible healthcare.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph is well-developed and supported with examples, making the points clear and comprehensive.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • respiratory problems
  • population density
  • stress levels
  • mental health issues
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • healthcare facilities
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • psychological well-being
  • recreational areas
  • social networks
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