The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040
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The line chart shows information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
of the population in
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
living in cities between 1970 and 2020, with projected for 2030 and 2040.
Overall
Linking Words
, all 4 figures will increase.
Most
Correct article usage
The most
show examples
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
index here is
Indonesia
Use synonyms
which rose dramatically and will grow until 2040.
Philippines
Correct article usage
The Philippines
show examples
and Thailand fluctuated from 1990 to 2020 and from 1990 to 2010 with the
percentage
Use synonyms
above 50 and 30 respectively.
While
Linking Words
Malaysia and
Indonesia
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
have
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only
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
and
predicted
Add a missing verb
are predicted
show examples
to grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
until the end.
Indonesia
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started with the lowest
percentage
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with approximately 14.
However
Linking Words
, in the
end
Add a comma
end,
show examples
he will be the second figure with under 60
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
which will be the index which has more
percentage
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than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
two. At the beginning Malaysia had clearly 30
Use synonyms
percentage
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
and will increase consistently just above 90, which will give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
figure leader in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
4 figures. Philippines was the leader in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970,
Linking Words
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
this
Linking Words
index
started
Add the particle
started to
show examples
fluctuate and will be in the third position with the 50
percentage
Use synonyms
in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2040.
Finally
Linking Words
, Thailand
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
the same
percentage
Use synonyms
as
Indonesia
Use synonyms
in the
1970
Correct your spelling
1970s
. But
this
Linking Words
figure will jump until above 40 and will be the looser in the end.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, indonesia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 8 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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