In their advertising businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this, do you think it is a positive or negative development?
It is widely argued that through advertising, companies often give importance to their
products
that are newly manufactured in the current competitive era. This
is due to
enhancing their profit and making the brand
image look better. In my view, I strongly believe that this
is a negative development because it will reduce the sales
from local vendors who are selling their own products
.
To begin
with, there are some potential reasons why this
is happening. Firstly
, corporations may depend highly on making and generating profits. This
is because if the products
show some effective result through advertising on social media, chances are people will highly consume those items, which ultimately produces more revenue. Moreover
, some businesses
highly value their brand
image because of the quality they deliver. Not only do they get orders from national clients but also
from around the globe. Thus
, increasing the opportunity to upsurge their sales
and their brand
name. Take the CR7 brand
, for instance
; more people are willing to splurge their money in order to get the Cristiano Ronaldo perfume, according to
some international resources.
On the other hand
, the key reason why I believe this
is a negative development is because it overshadows local vendors and reduces their sales
. A key point to notice is that due to
heavy Change preposition
apply
sales
traffic to businesses
that are well established with the help of various social media streams, may also
raise a negative impact on street vendors, which, as a result
, increases their unemployment rate. For example
, if more people rely on new brand
products
, more local businesses
are closing due to
minimum sales
and generating less profit.
To conclude
, even though businesses
put emphasis on their products
which are new to the market with the help of advertising, this
could benefit the industry by generating more profit and creating a brand
name. I believe that it could have negative consequences on local businesses
, causing them to shut down their markets.Submitted by abdulahad08600 on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Consider using transition words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
While the introduction and conclusion are present and generally effective, the introduction could be improved by stating the writer's position more clearly and cohesively. The conclusion should synthesize the main points more succinctly.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are well-supported, but more specific examples or data could further strengthen your arguments. Providing more concrete evidence can give your essay more depth and persuasiveness.
task achievement
Ensure that your response fully addresses every part of the prompt. In this essay, a more thorough discussion of why this emphasis is happening and the broader implications would offer a more comprehensive response.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, but they could be further developed for a higher score. Ensure each point is explored in detail, with clear links to the main topic.
task achievement
Use relevant and specific examples to support your ideas. Although some examples were provided, more varied examples would improve the essay's relevance and impact.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a clear argument and follows a logical structure that is easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively bookend the main points of the essay, providing a clear start and finish.
coherence cohesion
The main points are supported with relevant examples, though there is room for improvement here.
task achievement
The response addresses the prompt well and covers both parts of the question.
task achievement
Ideas are presented clearly and with a degree of thoroughness, making the argument easy to follow.
task achievement
The usage of a well-known brand example (CR7) helps in illustrating the point effectively.