IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Parents often give children everything they ask for and do what they like. Is it good for children? What are the consequences when they grow up?

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It is argued that most
parents
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 provide for all their
children
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's needs. I believe that
this
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 is unhealthy behaviour to do, and will result in negative consequences when a
child
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 grows up. Giving kids anything they ask for is a dangerous form of parenting, and will impact their personalities in a negative way.
Parents
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 should be strict regarding providing stuff to their
children
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. They must follow the rewards system, which will teach their
children
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 obtaining things is not easy, and they can do so by following certain conditions.
This
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 is to say, that
children
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 who used to have anything they wanted will face difficulty respecting other rules.
For example
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, a Mother can promise her
child
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 to eat sweets, but
this
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 will happen if the
child
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 helps clean the bedroom. In
this
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 way, a
child
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 will be taught to follow the rules and how to be disciplined. There are several negative consequences that a spoiled
child
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 will suffer from in the future. Spoiling will teach
children
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 to depend on their
parents
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 regarding everything in their lives,
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as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
 a result, they will become not independent adults.
This
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 is because, when they were
children
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 they were used to having everything they desired without putting in an effort.
Therefore
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, they will have difficulties in terms of achieving
theirthier
Correct your spelling
their
 goals and seeking to take things as a grown-up.
For instance
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, research shows that adults who are unable to make decisions and build
theirthier
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healthier
 lives tend to depend on their
parents
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 for most of their childhood.
To conclude
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, providing
children
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their
Add the preposition
with their
show examples
 needs without thinking is a negative way of parenting, and will lead to bad consequences in the
children
Use synonyms
's lives.

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task achievement
You have addressed the question well by discussing both aspects: whether it is good for children and the consequences when they grow up. However, your argument can be strengthened by providing a little more depth in the points you make. Try to elaborate more on how being spoiled specifically affects children's behavior and attitudes in the long term.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is logically structured and the flow of ideas is clear, your writing would benefit from more varied transitional phrases to enhance coherence. For example, instead of repeating the phrase 'This is because,' try using alternatives like 'Consequently,' or 'As a result,'.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences can be made clearer. For example, 'research shows that adults who are unable to make decisions and build theirthier lives tend to depend on their parents for most of their childhood.' Simplifying and correcting minor mistakes will make your argument more compelling. Ensure to proofread for typographical errors like 'theirthier' and 'research shows.'
task achievement
You have effectively addressed both parts of the task by discussing the immediate and long-term consequences of giving children everything they want. This shows a good understanding of the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs. Introduction and conclusion are present, which gives your essay a complete structure.
task achievement
The examples provided, such as the sweets example, are relevant and help to illustrate your main points effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • indulgence
  • overindulgence
  • leniency
  • emotional resilience
  • rejection
  • entitlement
  • realistic expectations
  • self-regulated behavior
  • egocentric
  • financial management
  • professional relationships
  • collaboratively
  • criticism
  • appreciation
  • value
  • effort
What to do next:
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