Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is irrefutable,

these

Correct word choice

that these

show examples

days people have plenty of medical

issues

Use synonyms

because of inactive lifestyles; I agree

Linking Words

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

statement sedentary lifestyles

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

to health

problems

Use synonyms

, even though there are other reasons

also

Linking Words

considered to be

bring

Verb problem

apply

show examples

health

issues

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle stimulates

to makes

Verb problem

apply

show examples

more health

issues

Use synonyms

because these days people mostly rely on technological machines

coupled with

Linking Words

devices to do work,

thus

Linking Words

it leads

Wrong verb form

leading

show examples

to laziness to mankind

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

diseases

Use synonyms

That is

Linking Words

, Physical activity has been

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

humankind

tries

Correct subject-verb agreement

try

show examples

to travel by

modem

Correct your spelling

modern

show examples

vehicles, so they neither have

interest

Correct article usage

an interest

show examples

to do

Change preposition

in doing

show examples

physical activities nor

Add a missing verb

have more

show examples

spare time.

For example

Linking Words

according to

Linking Words

the

satistics

Correct your spelling

statistics

, youngsters are mostly affected

obesity

Change preposition

by obesity

show examples

cardivascular

Correct your spelling

cardiovascular

, heart stroke, and cancer illnesses because of

sedentary

Add an article

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle.

Hence

Linking Words

, these deadly

diseases

Use synonyms

are brought by

inactive

Add an article

an inactive

the inactive

show examples

lifestyle that people have it.

However

Linking Words

, there are other aspects to be considered that

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

diseases

Use synonyms

to the population,

This

Linking Words

is,

pollution

Use synonyms

makes numerous deadly

diseases

Use synonyms

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

; they can

affect

Verb problem

cause

show examples

respiratory

problems

Use synonyms

, cancer and heart stroke because of inhaling the polluted air.

Additionally

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

hormone

Use synonyms

disorders

Add a comma

disorders,

show examples

many undergo weight gain

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

For instance

Linking Words

, take India, the richest man

Change preposition

show examples

India, Mr Ambani's son has been suffering

Change preposition

from harmone

show examples

harmone

Correct your spelling

hormone

disorder

Use synonyms

issues

Use synonyms

, and

as a result

Linking Words

, he is

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

overweight but he is a more active person,

although

Linking Words

he suffers, so

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyles are not only the main reasons for getting illnesses. Needless to say, there

are

Change the verb form

show examples

pollution

Use synonyms

and

hormone

Use synonyms

disorder

Use synonyms

that leads to medical

problems

Use synonyms

. In conclusion,

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

way of life brings many medical

problems

Use synonyms

because humans rely on technology, and they are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

laziness, but there are other factors

such

Linking Words

pollution

Use synonyms

, and

hormone

Use synonyms

disorder

Fix the agreement mistake

disorders

show examples

that can create many medical

problems

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I strongly agree that

inactive

Correct article usage

an inactive

show examples

way of life

makes

Verb problem

causes

show examples

plenty of illnesses, but

pollution

Use synonyms

, and

hormone

Use synonyms

disorder

Fix the agreement mistake

disorders

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

numerous medical

diseases

Use synonyms

too.

reanudeepanMon Jul 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph of your essay has a clear main idea and that your points are logically organized. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay. For example, you may want to discuss one main cause of health problems per paragraph.

coherence cohesion

To enhance clarity, ensure that you explicitly connect your examples to the points you are making. Clear transitions between ideas will also improve the coherence of your essay.

task achievement

When discussing different reasons for medical issues, try to provide a more balanced analysis and link them closely to your main argument about sedentary lifestyle. This will help in achieving a clearer, more comprehensive task response.

task achievement

Ensure your specific examples are directly relevant to the point you are making. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your arguments and provide a good structure.

task achievement

You attempt to address different aspects of the issue, which shows a good understanding of the complexity of the topic.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
39
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Cardiovascular health
Prolonged inactivity
Obesity
Hypertension
Coronary artery disease
Stroke
Diabetes
Mental health
Depression
Anxiety
Musculoskeletal health
Back pain
Posture
Osteoporosis
Prevention
Walking
Standing desks
Regular exercise

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Many of the medical problems that people are experiencing in today's world are due to the fact that we have a very sedentary lifestyle. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

What do you thing were the advantages and disadvantages of living in a small community?

Despite a large number of gyms, a sedentary lifestyle is gaining popular in the contemporary world. What problems are associated with this? What solutions can you suggest

Most of the people in the society enjoy watching crime movies and criminal TV programs. Why do you think people have more interest to watch them? What is the impact to the society due to this?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?