Improvement in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping poorer nations in these areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

The living conditions of people in third-world
countries
are significantly below conventionally acceptable standards. Some believe that the responsibility falls on the governments of richer
nations
to assist poorer
nations
in improving health, education, and trade. I agree with
this
view because there is a substantial disparity in fiscal capabilities, and
such
assistance could help reduce migration pressures.
Firstly
, it is evident that in today's political landscape, Western
countries
have higher GDPs and greater spending capacity than their Eastern counterparts. Achieving a world that provides everyone with equal opportunities, regardless of race or religion, requires efforts toward equality.
For example
, initiatives led by
countries
like Ireland and the United Kingdom have significantly improved healthcare in places like Bangladesh and Pakistan, leading to notable increases in life quality and literacy rates. These efforts demonstrate the potential positive impact of targeted aid from wealthier
nations
.
Furthermore
, there has been a sharp increase in the number of migrants and asylum seekers who move for financial reasons.
This
process is not only arduous for the individuals but
also
places immense strain on the governments and citizens of host
countries
.
For instance
, the growing number of Ghanaian refugees in Germany has caused widespread dissatisfaction among the population
due to
its substantial impact on the housing market and public welfare sectors. By investing in and creating opportunities in the refugees' home
countries
,
such
migrations could be significantly reduced, benefiting both the migrants and the host
nations
.
Finally
, if richer
nations
assist poorer ones in building proper infrastructure and facilities, it would lead to a reduction in migration and create a better future for subsequent generations. By addressing the root causes of poverty and underdevelopment, wealthier
nations
can foster global stability and prosperity. In conclusion, the governments of richer
nations
should take more responsibility for helping poorer
nations
improve health, education, and trade.
This
approach not only addresses the significant fiscal disparities but
also
mitigates migration issues, leading to a more stable and equitable world.
Submitted by d.karan on

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task achievement
Consider expanding on the societal benefits that richer nations might gain by assisting poorer nations, such as improved global relations and economic advantages. This would provide a more comprehensive task response.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph clearly contributes to answering the essay prompt. While the points are good, sometimes their connection to the prompt could be made more explicit.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which clearly frame the central argument.
task achievement
The use of relevant and specific examples, such as initiatives from Ireland and the UK, strengthens the argument effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout, making it easy to follow the argument.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
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