IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The continued rise in the world's population is the greatest problem faced by humanity at the present time what are the causes of this continue rise? what would be the measures to address the greatest problem faced by humanity?

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Nowadays, it is widely acknowledged that the trend of population is increasing significantly globally, which is causing the masses to depress people for overpopulation
due to
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awareness
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 and the education system.
This
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 essay will discuss the major reasons and possible solutions to overcome the problem. In regards, there are several grounds for
this
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 problem.
One
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 of the main consequences that can be characterized is social
awareness
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. Most people do not have proper knowledge about the consequences of overpopulation. A lot of people believe that more numbers of family members can increase the earning sources, which is
due to
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 a lack of proper knowledge and guidance
as well as
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 social
awareness
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.
In addition
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, the majority of the countries do not have special instructions or limitations on the number of children.
For example
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, in China,
one
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 family can take only
one
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 child. Seeing the matter with a brighter mind. Many solutions can be helpful to curb
this
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 menace.
One
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 of the potential solutions is to create global
awareness
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 of overpopulation;
for instance
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, fewer kids have a higher chance of taking care with a good education and greater
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for job facilities. In
this
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 way, advertising can be possible to reduce the population increase rate.
Moreover
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, the government should set the bar for households and, at the same time, can declare the advantages,
such
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 as the maximum number of two kids that can take each family; if anyone wants to take more than two kids,
then
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 taxation will increase and more subsidy will be imposed.
On the other hand
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, if anyone takes
one
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 member,
then
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 those child education costs will be reduced or be near zero as an incentive.
Finally
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, solving global issues is not easy, but with the joint efforts of humanity, control can be taken over the aforesaid issue, like global
awareness
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, and the government can set restrictions on children.

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task achievement
Your essay addresses both causes and solutions for the issue of overpopulation, which is a positive aspect of task achievement. However, try to provide more detailed examples and explanations to strengthen your arguments. For instance, when discussing social awareness or government policies, elaborate on how these specifically affect population trends.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas to enhance cohesion and logical structure. This will make your essay easier to follow and understand.
introduction conclusion
You have successfully provided a clear introduction that sets up the essay’s discussion about causes and solutions for overpopulation.
introduction conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the discussion and reaffirms the proposed solutions, tying the essay together well.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population explosion
  • Birth rate
  • Mortality rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Family planning
  • Contraceptive methods
  • Sex education
  • Population control
  • Sustainability
  • Global development
  • Demographic transition
  • Reproductive health
  • Infant mortality
  • Fertility rate
  • Societal norms
  • Educational attainment
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