IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Some people believe that children should be required to do community service in their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #community #service #time
Community
service
 is often seen as a valuable experience for young people, teaching them responsibility, empathy, and a sense of
community
.
However
, the idea of requiring
children
 to participate in
community
service
 during their free time has sparked a debate.
While
 some argue that mandatory
community
service
 can be beneficial, others believe it should remain a voluntary activity. In my opinion,
children
 should not be required to do
community
service
, though they should be encouraged and provided opportunities to engage in
such
 activities.
Firstly
, mandatory
community
service
 could potentially have a negative impact on
children
's motivation and perception of volunteering. When
children
 are forced to participate, they may view
community
service
 as a chore rather than a meaningful activity.
This
 obligatory approach might lead to resentment and a lack of genuine engagement, which is counterproductive to the purpose of fostering a voluntary spirit of helping others.
Secondly
,
children
 already have significant demands on their time, including schoolwork, extracurricular activities, and family responsibilities. Adding a requirement for
community
service
 could create undue stress and pressure, potentially affecting their academic performance and
overall
 well-being. It's important to ensure that
children
 have enough free time to relax and pursue their interests without feeling overburdened.
On the other hand
, encouraging
community
service
 can provide numerous benefits. It can help
children
 develop important life skills,
such
 as teamwork, communication, and problem-solving. Volunteering
also
 exposes
children
 to different perspectives and social issues, promoting empathy and social awareness. To achieve these benefits without making it mandatory, schools and communities can create programs that highlight the positive aspects of volunteering and provide easy access to various opportunities.
For instance
, schools can integrate
community
service
 projects into their curriculum as optional activities, rewarding students who participate with recognition or extra credit. Local organizations can collaborate with schools to offer volunteer opportunities that align with students' interests and schedules. By making
community
service
 appealing and accessible,
children
 are more likely to participate willingly and develop a lifelong commitment to helping others. In conclusion,
while
community
service
 is undoubtedly valuable for
children
's personal and social development, making it a mandatory requirement is not the ideal approach.
Instead
, creating a supportive environment that encourages voluntary participation can
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
 a genuine desire to contribute to the
community
.
This
 approach respects
children
's autonomy and ensures that their involvement in
community
service
 is meaningful and fulfilling.
Submitted by rupalivverma99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Your arguments are well-articulated and you present a clear stance throughout the essay. To enhance your score further, consider including more specific examples or case studies. This will make your argument even stronger and more relatable for the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve the overall impact, try varying your sentence structures and using a broader range of vocabulary. This will make your essay more engaging and demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph transitioning smoothly to the next. This makes your arguments easy to follow and understand.
introduction conclusion present
You have a strong introduction and conclusion that effectively frame your argument, giving your essay a clear beginning and end.
supported main points
Main points are well-supported and logically connected, which adds to the overall coherence of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: