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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The Line graph illustrates the number of sightseers
of
Change preposition
at
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 international
museums
Use synonyms
between
Change preposition
over
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 four decades. Louvre have a dominant position, comprising around eight to ten
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 visitors with a stable graph over the decades. In 1980, around 5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 people visited Vatican
Museums
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.
Along
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Over
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 the years, the graph for Vatican
Museums
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 has risen up to nine
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millions
Change to singular
million
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.
In
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On
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 the other hand,
London
Correct article usage
the London
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 Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 and
Shenzhen
Use synonyms
Museum
Use synonyms
 started off
approximately
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with approximately
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 4
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 guests.
Shenzhen
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Museum
Use synonyms
 has kept the number stable until 2015.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
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 Science
Museum
Use synonyms
 had a decline since the beginning, falling behind 2 million tourists compared with
Use synonyms
Shenzhen
Correct article usage
the Shenzhen
show examples
Museum
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the data highlights the Louvre's consistent dominance in attracting visitors,
while
Linking Words
 the Vatican
Museums
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 experienced significant growth over the decades.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the London Science
Museum
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 saw a decline in its popularity, unlike the
Shenzhen
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Museum
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, which maintained a steady number of visitors throughout the period.
This
Linking Words
 comparison underscores varying trends in
museum
Use synonyms
 visitation influenced by location, appeal, and perhaps cultural significance.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museums, millions, museum, shenzhen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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