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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The graph shows the number of visitors to four international museums between 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#visitors #four #museums #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The Line graph illustrates the number of sightseers
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
 international
museums
between
Change preposition
over
show examples
 four decades. Louvre have a dominant position, comprising around eight to ten
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 visitors with a stable graph over the decades. In 1980, around 5
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people visited Vatican
Museums
.
Along
Change preposition
Over
show examples
 the years, the graph for Vatican
Museums
 has risen up to nine
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the other hand,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 and
Shenzhen
Museum
 started off
approximately
Change preposition
with approximately
show examples
 4
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 guests.
Shenzhen
Museum
 has kept the number stable until 2015.
In contrast
,
London
Correct article usage
the London
show examples
 Science
Museum
 had a decline since the beginning, falling behind 2 million tourists compared with
Shenzhen
Correct article usage
the Shenzhen
show examples
Museum
.
Overall
, the data highlights the Louvre's consistent dominance in attracting visitors,
while
 the Vatican
Museums
 experienced significant growth over the decades.
In contrast
, the London Science
Museum
 saw a decline in its popularity, unlike the
Shenzhen
Museum
, which maintained a steady number of visitors throughout the period.
This
 comparison underscores varying trends in
museum
 visitation influenced by location, appeal, and perhaps cultural significance.
Submitted by riani.the2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in contrast".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 75%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words museums, millions, museum, shenzhen with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stable" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • visitor numbers
  • trend analysis
  • stability
  • popularity
  • significant changes
  • peak periods
  • low points
  • global tourism trends
  • economic downturns
  • natural disasters
  • tourist patterns
  • dynamic nature
  • factors influencing
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