The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart presents a data comparison between closed and new stores in some
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
. In general, the numerous of place
markets
Use synonyms
that end their business is higher than the
number
Use synonyms
of new business
markets
Use synonyms
, except in the year of 2011 and during period 2014 until the end of 2015. 13 years ago, there were many entrepreneurs had started to open their business in the country. It is represented from the graph which showed 8.500 new shops had opened in 2011.
However
Linking Words
, the attractiveness of market shares did not
last
Linking Words
long and dropped dramatically to 4.000 openings in the following year. During the year of 2012 until 2014, the
number
Use synonyms
of new
markets
Use synonyms
had been slightly rising to 6.000 openings and declined again in 2015 to the same
number
Use synonyms
of new
markets
Use synonyms
in 2012. The amount of new shops had been
experiencing
Verb problem
apply
show examples
stagnant until 2017 and dropped to its lowest point accounting for 3.000 shops in 2018. In 2011, the
number
Use synonyms
of closed unit businesses was not as many as the new ones, represented for 6.500 closed stores in 2011. It was marginally decreased in 2012 for account 500 stores and had been inclining to 7.000 closures. It dropped insignificantly in 2014 but
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
continued to decrease to the lowest point represented
for
Change preposition
by
show examples
only below 1000 closures in 2015.
However
Linking Words
, it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
strikingly
jump
Wrong verb form
jumped
show examples
again to more than 5000 closures in 2016 and had been experiencing
level
Correct article usage
a level
show examples
off to 2018.
Submitted by yxxs on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words markets, number with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "represented" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: