Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Some young adults tend to spend most of their day on electronic devices rather than playing outside with other

children

Use synonyms

their age . I believe that the advantages of

this

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behaviour outweigh the drawbacks. The reasons and explanations

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for

show examples

both

positives

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positive

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and

negatives

Fix the agreement mistake

negative

show examples

eefects

Correct your spelling

effects

defects

will be analysed in

this

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eassy

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essay

easy

. First of all, there are many reasons behind

this

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trend.

Children

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born at

this

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time are called the Alpha

ganeration

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generation

, meaning they came to a world where smartphones are everywhere , Knowing how to use a tablet from

such

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a young age .

Furthermore

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, Tablets are now available

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show examples

affordable prices, and most

children

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have their own tablets .

Addistionlly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, some schools acutely use technology in their addiction systems , making it hard to give away

Change preposition

apply

show examples

smart

dicices

Correct your spelling

devices

. Another reason would be busy parents; some parents can not deal with their kids, which makes handling them on an iPad a solution. Coming to the pros and cons of

this

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behaviour,

children

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can benefit from online addiction

lassoes

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lessons

show examples

or learning a foreign language.

In addition

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, since wifi is available everywhere,

children

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having access to all entertainment applications makes it easier. Turning to the cons, eye

sigh

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sign

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problems are caused by

long-termscreen

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long-term screen

use, a lack of communication skills, and obesity

as a consequence

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low

Add an article

the low

show examples

physical movement. All in all, a smart tablet is a two-sided weapon, depending on the

usag

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user

. l think parents should look after their

children

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and have screen time to avoid consequences.

Submitted by aseel on Mon Jul 15 2024

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task achievement

In your essay, you have successfully identified reasons why children spend a lot of time on smartphones, but the explanations need more detail or specificity. Consider elaborating on each point with real-life examples or statistics.

task achievement

There are minor issues with grammar and vocabulary, such as 'addiction systems' instead of 'education systems', 'effeccts' instead of 'effects', and 'acutely' instead of 'actively'. Take time to proofread your work or use grammar-checking tools to eliminate these small errors.

coherence cohesion

Your essay reads better when your sentences flow smoothly. Pay attention to transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Including clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph will help guide the reader through your ideas. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or aspect of the topic.

task achievement

You do a great job of presenting both the pros and cons of children spending a lot of time on smartphones, which shows a balanced view of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in organizing your thoughts and presenting your arguments effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

247 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Students perform better in school then they rewarded rather then punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answear and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or expirience.

It will be better to have wide use of driverless cars for individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

Planting trees is very important for the environment. Some people says trees should be planted in the vacant areas of cities and towns, while other says housing facilities should be built instead. Do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?