Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Some young adults tend to spend most of their day on electronic devices rather than playing outside with other
children
their age . I believe that the advantages of this
behaviour outweigh the drawbacks. The reasons and explanations of
both Change preposition
for
positives
and Fix the agreement mistake
positive
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
eefects
will be analysed in Correct your spelling
effects
defects
this
eassy
.
First of all, there are many reasons behind Correct your spelling
essay
easy
this
trend. Children
born at this
time are called the Alpha ganeration
, meaning they came to a world where smartphones are everywhere , Knowing how to use a tablet from Correct your spelling
generation
such
a young age . Furthermore
, Tablets are now available in
affordable prices, and most Change preposition
at
children
have their own tablets . Addistionlly
, some schools acutely use technology in their addiction systems , making it hard to give away Correct your spelling
Additionally
on
smart Change preposition
apply
dicices
. Another reason would be busy parents; some parents can not deal with their kids, which makes handling them on an iPad a solution.
Coming to the pros and cons of Correct your spelling
devices
this
behaviour, children
can benefit from online addiction lassoes
or learning a foreign language. Correct your spelling
lessons
In addition
, since wifi is available everywhere, children
having access to all entertainment applications makes it easier. Turning to the cons, eye sigh
problems are caused by Correct your spelling
sign
long-termscreen
use, a lack of communication skills, and obesity Correct your spelling
long-term screen
as a consequence
of low
physical movement.
All in all, a smart tablet is a two-sided weapon, depending on the Add an article
the low
usag
. l think parents should look after their Correct your spelling
user
children
and have screen time to avoid consequences.Submitted by aseel on
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task achievement
In your essay, you have successfully identified reasons why children spend a lot of time on smartphones, but the explanations need more detail or specificity. Consider elaborating on each point with real-life examples or statistics.
task achievement
There are minor issues with grammar and vocabulary, such as 'addiction systems' instead of 'education systems', 'effeccts' instead of 'effects', and 'acutely' instead of 'actively'. Take time to proofread your work or use grammar-checking tools to eliminate these small errors.
coherence cohesion
Your essay reads better when your sentences flow smoothly. Pay attention to transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Including clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph will help guide the reader through your ideas. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single idea or aspect of the topic.
task achievement
You do a great job of presenting both the pros and cons of children spending a lot of time on smartphones, which shows a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in organizing your thoughts and presenting your arguments effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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