These days, too many people maintain their health by relyin doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lif To what extent do you agree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant exampl from your own knowledge or experience.

In
this
generation, pupils tend to give away
on
Change preposition
apply
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healthy habits and rely on medications
instead
. I completely agree with
this
statement because individuals seem to be too busy to take care of their health. The reasons for
this
trend will be analysed in
this
essay • First of all,
people
now are too busy to follow a healthy lifestyle either because of work or having a family to take care after.
For example
, a person with a full schedule will have no time to cook for himself, leading to relying on fast
food
restraints. Fast
food
usually lacks nutrients and vitamins and is full of fats. For those
people
, it is easier to take a vitamin pill for what their body needs.Doctors do not recommend
this
behaviour.
Pills
are not the solution, everybody needs nutrition from
food
that
pills
can not replace.
On the other hand
, some
people
have their health as a number one property, having friends who eat healthy every day or even watching celebrities following a healthy diet will keep them motivated.
For instance
, Some have YouTube channels and film vlogs of them cooking healthy
food
and talking about healthy habits you can add to your life. Nutrousion doctors say that it's not easy.to start a new life and
people
acutely collabs after a
while
, that's where addiction is important and being aware of how much
pills
damage your kidney • All in all ,
People
now only count on
pills
and go to hospitals once in a
while
to maintain health. Unfortunately, I agree with
this
saying, seeing many
people
in my life
following
this
path. A healthy lifestyle should be looked after and awareness campaigns should take place .
Submitted by aseel on

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general
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct small typographical errors and improve clarity. For instance, 'give away' should be 'give up,' and 'fast food restraints' should be 'fast food restaurants.'
coherence
Ensure that your arguments follow a logical structure. Some sentences and ideas in your essay seem a bit disjointed. Aim to make smoother transitions between points and paragraphs.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and explanations to provide a more thorough discussion. While you have relevant examples, providing more depth could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures more to improve readability and flow. This will help engage your reader and provide a more compelling argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which help frame your arguments effectively.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples which help to support your main points. This makes your essay more persuasive.
task achievement
Your opinion is clearly stated, and you have logically supported your viewpoint.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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