IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction?

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While
Linking Words
 it is a fact that online platform
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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 play pivotal roles in our social and professional lives. Admittedly, it is not always precise that failing to actively access digital networking
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
 might lead
the
Correct article usage
apply
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professionals
missed
Change the verb form
to miss
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 their golden
oppurtunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 in
career
Use synonyms
 life.
Firstly
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,
career
Use synonyms
 progression relies on a whole host of factors, not only
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 established in social
media
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.
For instance
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, an individual,
such
Linking Words
 as a doctor, needs to go through
range
Add an article
a range
the range
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 of qualifications in order to become
productive
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a productive
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 professional. And behind
this
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 accomplishment, there will be successful marking from academic exams to vocational certificates
as well as
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 membership
of
Change preposition
in
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 professional bodies. Here, social
media
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 is not a driving force behind the success despite being a communication tool.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the golden door for the beginning of
Use synonyms
career
Correct article usage
a career
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 opens with interpersonal skills, which thrive on face-to-face interaction rather than remote communication. One clear example is that doctors can enhance networking by attending medical conferences and seminars, where they forge
connection
Fix the agreement mistake
connections
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 with peers, specialists, and potential mentors.
As a result
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,
this
Linking Words
foster
Change the verb form
fosters
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 their opportunities for collaboration, knowledge exchange, and professional growth. Alternatively, it is true that social
media
Use synonyms
 presents great opportunities for making contacts and networking,
for example
Linking Words
 by building a following or exchanging updates on a particular topic.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 tends to happen when a person is already qualified and respected in their field, rather than being a cause of success. In conclusion, it appears that skilful use of these
media
Use synonyms
 can play a useful role in
career
Use synonyms
 progression, despite the possible risks.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the fundamental qualifications and personal skills which drive a
career
Use synonyms
 will ensure that those who are not enthusiastic users will still progress as they wish.

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your main points, especially in the first body paragraph.
task achievement
Ensure that all arguments are fully developed and that each point is clearly explained. This can help in making your response more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
Better organizing your content logically will enhance the readability and coherence of your essay. Try to keep each paragraph focused on a single main point.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to the transitional phrases between paragraphs to maintain the flow of your arguments.
introduction
Your introduction does a good job of outlining the overall argument.
conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, reinforcing your stance on the topic.
supported main points
Your argument is balanced, providing both sides of the discussion regarding the use of social media in career progression.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Networking
  • Professional growth
  • Digital footprint
  • LinkedIn
  • Online presence
  • Industry trends
  • Personal branding
  • Digital literacy
  • Direct applications
  • Privacy concerns
  • Professional image
  • Career trajectory
  • Social media platforms
  • Traditional networking
  • Information accessibility
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