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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#floor #plan #library #years #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The indoor maps illustrate the differences
of
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the Central
Library
Use synonyms
 20 years ago and now.
Overall
Linking Words
 there are a number of notable changes in the
library
Use synonyms
. The most prominent change is that the tables & chairs at the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the
library
Use synonyms
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 removed. In
addiction
Correct your spelling
addition
show examples
, the enquiry desk for tickets, book returns, etc. at the southeast of the
library
Use synonyms
 was
demonished
Correct your spelling
demolished
admonished
 and a cafe was constructed at that location. What's more, the non-adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 area at the east was divided into three functional areas: Adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, information desk, and self-service machines.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, the
room
Use synonyms
 for CDs, videos,
computer
Correct word choice
and computer
show examples
 games was enlarged and
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 a
room
Use synonyms
 for children's
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
, the rooms
also
Linking Words
includes
Wrong verb form
included
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 two sofas and a place for storytelling events.
There're
Wrong verb form
There were
show examples
also
Linking Words
 some other changes, the
room
Use synonyms
 for children's
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 at the northeast was changed into a lecture
room
Use synonyms
; the adult
fiction
Use synonyms
books
Use synonyms
 area at the east was changed into all reference
books
Use synonyms
 area; and the reading
room
Use synonyms
 at the southeast was changed into the computer
room
Use synonyms
,
also
Linking Words
 the door of the
room
Use synonyms
 changed from the north to the east.
Submitted by RaymondHuang on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words library, fiction, books, room with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 7 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • floor plan
  • public library
  • layout
  • reading area
  • computer station
  • multimedia section
  • children's area
  • reference section
  • study cubicles
  • shelving units
  • digital media
  • technological advancements
  • user behavior
  • accessibility
  • traffic flow
  • modernization
  • community needs
  • conversion
  • allocation
  • removal
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