Some believe that teaching children at home is the best for child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that many
parents
will ensure the safety of their children
due to
world conflicts that
been
Add a missing verb
have been
show examples
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
in the news.
Therefore
, it is debated among the public
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whether youngsters should go to school or stay
at
Add a hyphen
at-home
show examples
home
schooling
Replace the word
School
show examples
is the best choice for them. From my perspective, both trends have their advantages but I am more inclined
on going
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to go
show examples
to
institution
Add an article
an institution
the institution
show examples
for educational purposes.
To begin
with,
home
schooling
have
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has
show examples
many benefits. One of them is that
this
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
a flexible learning environment to the child's interests, which can lead to
deeper
Add an article
a deeper
show examples
understanding of
knowlodge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
For instance
, kids who
is
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are
show examples
enjoying on learning mathematics can focus rather
than
Change preposition
on
show examples
other
subjets
Correct your spelling
subjects
show examples
while
in
sthe
Correct your spelling
the
school.
Second,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
doing
home
schooling allows for strong familial bonds as
parents
are spending more time with their
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
.
As a result
,
this
helps
creating
Wrong verb form
create
show examples
a supportive and nurturing environment.
On the other hand
, some
parents
encourages
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encourage
show examples
their sons or daughters to enter
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
because of the upsides of
its
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
. First of all, schools offer extra curriculums and resources that may not be available at
home
which can enhance one's development
such
as teamwork, social skills and problem-solving skills that are promoted to all range of peers.
Thus
, these skills are useful in the long run.
Next,
in schools, pupils learn to deal with real-world challenges namely competition, diverse opinions and deadlines which are crucial for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal
devolopment
Correct your spelling
development
in the future.
Not to mention
, job requirements. In conclusion, consider both have their own merits and it is the choice of their
parents
to choose the finest for their
love
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loved
show examples
ones,
whereas
I am more bent on the school academic.
Submitted by tifjong on

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grammar
Improve the grammatical accuracy and spelling in your essay. For instance, "knowldge" should be "knowledge", and "offsprings" should be "offspring".
examples
Develop more specific examples to support your points. You could illustrate more scenarios where homeschooling or traditional schooling have significant impacts on children's development.
cohesion
Enhance the cohesiveness of your essay. Although the main ideas are clear, use cohesive devices more effectively, such as connectors and reference words, to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
content
The essay presents a balanced discussion about both homeschooling and institutional schooling, which shows your ability to weigh multiple perspectives.
conclusion
The conclusion is clear and effectively summarizes the main points, providing your final stance on the topic.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tailored learning environment
  • deeper understanding
  • retention of knowledge
  • strong familial bonds
  • supportive and nurturing environment
  • diverse range of peers
  • promoting social skills
  • structured curriculums
  • specialized resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • real-world challenges
  • personal development
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