Some believe that teaching children at home is the best for child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

There is no doubt that many
parents
will ensure the safety of their children
due to
world conflicts that
been
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have been
show examples
showed
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shown
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in the news.
Therefore
, it is debated among the public
about
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apply
show examples
whether youngsters should go to school or stay
at
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at-home
show examples
home
schooling
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School
show examples
is the best choice for them. From my perspective, both trends have their advantages but I am more inclined
on going
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to go
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to
institution
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an institution
the institution
show examples
for educational purposes.
To begin
with,
home
schooling
have
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has
show examples
many benefits. One of them is that
this
provide
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provides
show examples
a flexible learning environment to the child's interests, which can lead to
deeper
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a deeper
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understanding of
knowlodge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
.
For instance
, kids who
is
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are
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enjoying on learning mathematics can focus rather
than
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on
show examples
other
subjets
Correct your spelling
subjects
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while
in
sthe
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the
school.
Second,
while
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apply
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doing
home
schooling allows for strong familial bonds as
parents
are spending more time with their
offsprings
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offspring
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.
As a result
,
this
helps
creating
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create
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a supportive and nurturing environment.
On the other hand
, some
parents
encourages
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encourage
show examples
their sons or daughters to enter
academy
Correct article usage
the academy
show examples
because of the upsides of
its
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it
show examples
. First of all, schools offer extra curriculums and resources that may not be available at
home
which can enhance one's development
such
as teamwork, social skills and problem-solving skills that are promoted to all range of peers.
Thus
, these skills are useful in the long run.
Next,
in schools, pupils learn to deal with real-world challenges namely competition, diverse opinions and deadlines which are crucial for
a
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apply
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personal
devolopment
Correct your spelling
development
in the future.
Not to mention
, job requirements. In conclusion, consider both have their own merits and it is the choice of their
parents
to choose the finest for their
love
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loved
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ones,
whereas
I am more bent on the school academic.
Submitted by tifjong on

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grammar
Improve the grammatical accuracy and spelling in your essay. For instance, "knowldge" should be "knowledge", and "offsprings" should be "offspring".
examples
Develop more specific examples to support your points. You could illustrate more scenarios where homeschooling or traditional schooling have significant impacts on children's development.
cohesion
Enhance the cohesiveness of your essay. Although the main ideas are clear, use cohesive devices more effectively, such as connectors and reference words, to link sentences and paragraphs smoothly.
content
The essay presents a balanced discussion about both homeschooling and institutional schooling, which shows your ability to weigh multiple perspectives.
conclusion
The conclusion is clear and effectively summarizes the main points, providing your final stance on the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • tailored learning environment
  • deeper understanding
  • retention of knowledge
  • strong familial bonds
  • supportive and nurturing environment
  • diverse range of peers
  • promoting social skills
  • structured curriculums
  • specialized resources
  • extracurricular activities
  • real-world challenges
  • personal development
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