Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have make the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweight its disadvantages.

#health #services #necessity #person #companies #individuals #care #outweight

Every person needs

health

care. Nowadays private

health

services cost the

earth

Capitalize word

Earth

show examples

for a normal person.

While

this

type of service costs too high, I believe that there are more advantages

such

as modern technology. On the one hand, close medical

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

have expensive technologies. Today, a lot of companies are investing and improving their equipment to become famous for their services. Many ordinary

people

choose

such

centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

because these companies are able to treat serious diseases.

Furthermore

, private

health

clinics will take more care of the patient's

health

than public hospitals, because their status is important to them. South Korea is a vivid example of

this

situation. Individuals all over the world come to

this

country to check their

health

and get tested, because there are limited equipment and superior service.

On the other hand

, the main disadvantage of private hospitals is the high price. Not all ordinary

people

can afford private clinic treatment services.

For instance

, the cost of treating a patient in a private clinic can be two to three times higher, and it turns out that only rich

people

can afford

this

service.

This

leads to discrimination against ordinary

people

who do not earn enough to pay for private treatment.

To sum up

, private clinics are equipped with the most modern technologies that treat serious diseases,

although

at an inflated price. In my opinion, there are more benefits than its disadvantages.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Tue Jul 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay does well in presenting a balanced view on the topic. However, try providing more specific examples especially in the second body paragraph to strengthen your argument.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your introduction is clear and concise. You can improve the opening statement to better reflect the essay prompt e.g., start with a more specific observation about the rise in costs of healthcare services and its implication.

coherence cohesion

Improve connections between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases and making logical connections clearer.

task achievement

Your essay is balanced and demonstrates an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is very good.

coherence cohesion

The main points are well-organized and supported with relevant examples, especially the mention of South Korea.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in structuring your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

235 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5

6.5

Logical structure

6.5

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualication. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There are university students who are willing to acquire a wide range of academic knowledge, which are different from their main subjects On the contrary, others contend that concentrating students' time on their main subject is crucial. Although it is admittedly important to focus on their primary subject to streamline their skills, I firmly believe that comprehending other subjects would diversify students' skills and personalities.
5
band
Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Living in a consumer era, majority of companies are fighting for client’s attention and that is why many people are surrounded by permanent ads on their daily basis. These days, modern advertising methods are considered to be one of the most crucial social problems around the world. I personally believe that a plethora of nowadays advertisement is immoral due to the invasive way of its publication and level of sensitivity and awareness among different age groups.
7
band
Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some claim that art-related lessons should be incorporated into the main syllabus of high schools since they have a significant impact on children's development. I completely agree with the aforementioned statement as those subjects enhance students' creativity and assist them in selecting the right career paths that align with their interests.
7
band
Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.
Environmental issues have become widespread concern about its threat. While some people believe that this problem ought to be tackled internationally, others argue that environmental degradation is the responsibility of the country itself. Both of the aforementioned perspectives will be discussed in the following paragraphs alongside the reasons behind them.
<4
band
In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?
Governing bodies of many nations motivate the relocation of commercial activities to remote places as a solution to the lack of accomodations and means of transport in urban areas. This essay will examine the positivities such as emergence of new opportunities and the decrease of potential competitors as well as negativities such like deficiency of customers and unavailability of modern digital facilities.

Health services are the basic necessity for a person. Private companies have make the health services quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweight its disadvantages.

Word Count

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualication. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?