Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure a growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its efforts on uplifting the less fortunate? Discuss both views.

No one can deny that the
government
must act and aim for their citizens.
However
, it is debated among the public whether
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
should prioritize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
growing
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
or uplifting the unfortunate ones
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I will explain
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both views in the following paragraph.
To begin
with, it is
significants
Correct your spelling
significant
show examples
for
economy
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the economy
an economy
show examples
to grow as
this
leads to numerous benefits for a country.
For instance
, investing in good
business
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businesses
show examples
and companies by the ministry can
increased
Wrong verb form
increase
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job
opporturnities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
thereby preventing poverty.
Nevertheless
, economic growth ensures a safe and secure environment for the communities to live in.
Not to mention
,
finest
Correct article usage
the finest
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infrastructure and defence capability.
Hence
, without a basic standard of protection, a country might face threats of invasion,
as well as
, risks to economic crisis.
On the other hand
, some believe that
government
efforts should prioritize
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
uplifting the less fortunate to ensure
an
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apply
show examples
equality and equity in the
socities
Correct your spelling
societies
.
For example
, healthcare services and education must be given to all genders and labels in order to promote a harmonious country.
As a result
, less conflicts and wars among the people.
Thus
, a healthy lifestyle can
prevented
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prevent
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unwanted
disease
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diseases
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meanwhile good education can help
economy
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the economy
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to grow and reduce
proverty
Correct your spelling
poverty
. In conclusion, considering both trends
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
needed to balance the growth of the
economy
and aim for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
prosperity and fairness.
Therefore
, the
government
play a fundamental role in the
overall
development
for
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of
show examples
the nations.
Submitted by tifjong on

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grammar
Some sentences have grammatical errors that can confuse the reader. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and correct usage of articles and prepositions.
content
Use more specific examples to support your main points. This will strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
structure
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences within the paragraph support that idea. This will improve the logical flow and coherence of your essay.
content
The essay addresses both views on the topic, making it a balanced discussion.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present.
content
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant reasons for each viewpoint.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • job opportunities
  • standards of living
  • infrastructure
  • public services
  • advocates
  • positive cycle
  • social equity
  • justice
  • government policies
  • reduce poverty
  • essential services
  • healthcare
  • education
  • equitable distribution
  • balanced approach
  • implementing policies
  • equitably shared
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