Nowadays museums and historical sites are mainly visited by foreign tourists instead of locals. Why is this happening? What can be done to get locals to visit museums and historical sites more?
Nowadays,
museums
and historical sites
are mainly visited by foreigners rather than local tourists. One of the reasons for this
is the lack of knowledge in local citizens
, and to increase the frequency of visiting such
places by local people
, advertisements and school
education
focused on locals are effective because these activities will provoke awareness of museums
and historical sites
in the local areas.
Local citizens
do not bother to visit museums
and historical sites
nearby unless they have a special affection for them or a strong interest in them because people
generally prefer to explore the new world they have never known when it comes to travelling somewhere on their days off. For example
, there are few local people
who have never visited the Heiwa-Kinen Koen, the peace memorial park in Hiroshima prefecture, because most people
living in Hiroshima know this
place is worth visiting to recognize the importance of peace because of both school
education
and anecdotes told by local elderlies who have directly experienced World War 2.
Therefore
, to increase the number of local people
who visit museums
and historical sites
, education
and advertisements focused on the local people
are necessary. Educating adults who have recently moved into the area from another place is as effective as school
education
for children, and by supporting local travel agencies to advertise more about their local sites
, focusing on local citizens
, local citizens
will become more interested in the place in which they live. For instance
, recently, a famous local train company, Seibu Tetsudo, started to advertise local site-seeing spots on local trains so that commuters can look up advertising movies and posters every day, and this
has led to an increasing number of local visitors to zoos, theme parks, and museums
in Saitama Prefecture.
In summary, it is common for foreign visitors to exhibit greater interest in museums
and historical sites
than residents of the local area. This
disparity can often be attributed to a lack of familiarity with the historical context, industries, and unique products that are native to the region. To rectify this
situation, it is essential to invest in comprehensive educational programs within the school
system and implement targeted advertising campaigns that specifically aim to raise awareness among the local population.Submitted by kana_ayaki on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing the task, but try to further develop your points about why locals are less inclined to visit these sites. It may help to consider additional factors such as pricing and availability of leisure time.
coherence cohesion
While your ideas are generally clear and well-expressed, adding more transitional phrases between and within paragraphs can enhance coherence. This can make the essay smoother and easier to follow.
task achievement
You made a strong effort to address all parts of the question, providing a clear response with relevant examples. Your use of the Hiroshima peace memorial park and the Seibu Tetsudo advertisements were particularly effective.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The inclusion of specific examples greatly supports the main points, adding depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.