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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows the numbers of three types of visitor to a museum between 1997 and 2012. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#numbers #three #visitor #museum #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart gives information about the figures of 3 types of
guets
Correct your spelling
guests
which are
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 aged under 15 and special exhibition
visitors
Use synonyms
 to a museum from 1997 to 2012.
Overall
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 had the highest visit rate
whereas
Linking Words
,
visitors
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 under the age of 15
were fewer
Verb problem
had a lower
show examples
 ratio. At first glance,
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 were the best lover to visit a museum compared to other
guets
Correct your spelling
guests
 because they had 300,100 visitor person in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1997 and their numbers of
visitors
Use synonyms
 significantly increased from 2002 with 302
thousund
Correct your spelling
thousand
visitor
Change to a plural noun
visitors
show examples
 to 2007 between 2012 respectively 400
thousund
Correct your spelling
thousand
 and 380.000
person
Change to a plural noun
people
show examples
. As
apposed
Correct your spelling
opposed
show examples
 to the special exhibition
were
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 the fewest
visiter
Correct your spelling
visitors
show examples
in terms of
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
visitors
Use synonyms
 , they had 28.000
guets
Correct your spelling
guests
 in 1997 after that the group started of smidgen
incremet
Correct your spelling
increase
 in the years 2007 and 2012.
Visitors
Use synonyms
 who are under the age of 15 gradually went down from 1997 with 120
thosund
Correct your spelling
thousand
 to 2012 82.300 person. Ultimately we can say that ; the museum had plenty of
adult
Use synonyms
visitors
Use synonyms
 in 4
years
Correct your spelling
4-year
 period,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
sepcial
Correct your spelling
special
exhbition
Correct your spelling
exhibition
visitors
Use synonyms
 did not
Correct your spelling
prefer
prefered
Add the particle
prefered to
show examples
 visit the venue.
Submitted by kickbox191 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words adult, visitors with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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