Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development ?

In
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
modern world where social platforms are growing at a very fast pace because of advanced technology. I believe that
this
has positively impacted
in
Change preposition
apply
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relationship building, by making it more accessible and convenient. The essay
would be discussing
Wrong verb form
will discuss
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two of the prime changes
bought
Correct your spelling
brought
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in by
such
technologies. One of the major positive
transformation
Change to a plural noun
transformations
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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is because of internet connectivity where a person can connect with
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
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he wants, present in any part of the world, that to within a few seconds.
Example
Change preposition
For example
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:
Initially
when people wanted to communicate they used to do
this
by posting letters, which would take days together to be delivered.
However
, after
internets
Change the noun form
internet
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connection now with the help of Facebook, Instagram, hype, etc has made
this
process really fast.
Therefore
,
drastic
Correct article usage
a drastic
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reduction in communication time has proven to be an advantage to
this
generation.
Secondly
, now we can have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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real time
Add a hyphen
real-time
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interactions with each other with the help of live video chats.
Moreover
,
this
has helped the schools and offices to conduct online classes and meetings. In
case
Correct article usage
the case
show examples
of Covid during 2019-2020, where there was a worldwide lockdown implemented.
However
,
due to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
apps like
zoom
Capitalize word
Zoom
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and
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
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,
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
proven to be useful for teachers to conduct online classes.
Hence
,
such
applications have made online teaching possible. In conclusion, the benefits that humanity has got from these technologies,
such
as delivering
message
Fix the agreement mistake
messages
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at high speed and live visual interface,
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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noteworthy. But in order to avoid misuse these advancements should be governed strictly.
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task achievement
Your introduction is a bit awkward and could be made clearer. Consider revising the first sentence to be more straightforward, e.g., 'In today's modern world, the way people interact with each other has drastically changed due to technological advancements.'
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, but the examples can be more specific and less generic. Try to incorporate more detailed instances that reflect personal or wider societal experiences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure better usage of connectors and transitions between paragraphs. While your points are logical, more cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'As a result', etc.) can help to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Polish your grammar and sentence structure. For instance, 'Example: Initially when people wanted to communicate they used to do this by posting letters, which would take days together to be delivered.' can be more fluid if written as, 'For example, in the past, people communicated through letters, which took days to be delivered.'
task achievement
The essay covers the required aspects of the task by discussing how technology has changed interpersonal relationships and assessing the positive impacts.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clearly stated and supported with examples, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, adds to the coherence of the essay.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global connectivity
  • Cross-cultural friendships
  • Online communities
  • Geographical barriers
  • Video calls
  • Messaging apps
  • Superficial interactions
  • Digital communication
  • Professional networking
  • LinkedIn
  • Privacy concerns
  • Data security
  • Romantic relationships
  • Online dating apps
  • Face-to-face interaction
  • Mental health
  • Online presence
  • Generational gap
  • Educational collaboration
  • Academic relationships
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