Nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In whats has technology affected the types of relationships people make ? Has this become a positive or negative development ?
In
todays
modern world where social platforms are growing at a very fast pace because of advanced technology. I believe that Change to a genitive case
today's
this
has positively impacted in
relationship building, by making it more accessible and convenient. The essay Change preposition
apply
would be discussing
two of the prime changes Wrong verb form
will discuss
bought
in by Correct your spelling
brought
such
technologies.
One of the major positive transformation
Change to a plural noun
transformations
,
is because of internet connectivity where a person can connect with Remove the comma
apply
any one
he wants, present in any part of the world, that to within a few seconds. Correct your spelling
anyone
Example
: Change preposition
For example
Initially
when people wanted to communicate they used to do this
by posting letters, which would take days together to be delivered. However
, after internets
connection now with the help of Facebook, Instagram, hype, etc has made Change the noun form
internet
this
process really fast. Therefore
, drastic
reduction in communication time has proven to be an advantage to Correct article usage
a drastic
this
generation.
Secondly
, now we can have a
Correct article usage
apply
real time
interactions with each other with the help of live video chats. Add a hyphen
real-time
Moreover
, this
has helped the schools and offices to conduct online classes and meetings. In case
of Covid during 2019-2020, where there was a worldwide lockdown implemented. Correct article usage
the case
However
, due to
apps like Change preposition
apply
zoom
and Capitalize word
Zoom
google meet
, Correct your spelling
Google Meet
had
proven to be useful for teachers to conduct online classes. Wrong verb form
have
Hence
, such
applications have made online teaching possible.
In conclusion, the benefits that humanity has got from these technologies, such
as delivering message
at high speed and live visual interface, Fix the agreement mistake
messages
is
noteworthy. But in order to avoid misuse these advancements should be governed strictly.Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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task achievement
Your introduction is a bit awkward and could be made clearer. Consider revising the first sentence to be more straightforward, e.g., 'In today's modern world, the way people interact with each other has drastically changed due to technological advancements.'
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples, but the examples can be more specific and less generic. Try to incorporate more detailed instances that reflect personal or wider societal experiences.
coherence cohesion
Ensure better usage of connectors and transitions between paragraphs. While your points are logical, more cohesive devices (like 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', 'As a result', etc.) can help to enhance the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Polish your grammar and sentence structure. For instance, 'Example: Initially when people wanted to communicate they used to do this by posting letters, which would take days together to be delivered.' can be more fluid if written as, 'For example, in the past, people communicated through letters, which took days to be delivered.'
task achievement
The essay covers the required aspects of the task by discussing how technology has changed interpersonal relationships and assessing the positive impacts.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are clearly stated and supported with examples, making your argument easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The overall structure, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, adds to the coherence of the essay.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...