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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The graph shows the life expectancy of people living in Asian regions from 1950 and predicts life expectancy until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph shows the life expectancy of people living in Asian regions from 1950 and predicts life expectancy until 2300. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#life #expectancy #people #asian #regions #information #features #comparisons
The given line graph compares six regions of Asia in terms of
people
life
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
time
 from 1950 to
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and
also
 provides a prediction of it until 2300.Units
measures
Correct subject-verb agreement
measure
show examples
 in age.
Overall
, it is
abvious
Correct your spelling
obvious
 that the life expectancy of the
people
 of these six areas has grown throughout the
time line
Correct your spelling
timeline
show examples
, from the past to the present
days
Fix the agreement mistake
day
show examples
 and there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expectation of how it
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be until the end of the given period. At the beginning of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 line, the
avrage
Correct your spelling
average
 dead
time
 of
people
 in Western Asia stood more than the
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
show examples
 at about 53 and has been reached
about80
Correct your spelling
about 80
 to 85 for the
time
 being (year 2000 to 2050).
However
, the
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
people
 had lived about 45 in 1950, and
also
this
 was less than 40 for
people
 in 4 other places, which
this
 age has risen to more or less 70 for all of them. There is a simple
predicted
Replace the word
prediction
show examples
, which all of the
linse
Correct your spelling
lines
 indicating these 6 sections of Asia are expected to continue to extend their figure of age by a steady
increas
Correct your spelling
increase
 to will be reach
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a range of about 95 to just more than 100.
Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, time with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "present" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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