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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #boys #girls #schools #benefit
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Some educators and parents are keen on separating
boys
 and
girls
 for better education results,
while
 some believe that a combination class of these two genders will be beneficial for their career growth. In my opinion, I concur with a mixed-class setting where children can improve their social
skills
 which will bring them closer to achieving their educational success and personal development. On the one hand, perhaps the main reason to keep young ones together in mixed-class is that their communication skill will improve and their shyness will be diminished to a certain degree. Those students who work in a team of
boys
 and
girls
 are more productive
due to
 the multi-gender nature of the environment.
For example
, tests conducted by WHO present that kids' intellect develops more than those who learn alone or in the same gender group.
Consequently
, they will gain far more experience and learn to live with different people from a very young age.
As a result
, they will tend to develop cognitive
skills
, communication
skills
, and many more which will lead them to their success in future.
On the other hand
, there are two important reasons for those who support the act of separate classrooms for
boys
 and
girls
. The first one, it is easier to teach them
due to
 fewer limitations. Admittedly, teachers can cater more effectively to their student's needs, as the learning styles of
boys
 and
girls
 are different. The second one, students can focus on their studies and their performances more without distractions
such
 as unnecessary and futile relationships.
For instance
, without a doubt, those who are excellent in their class grades are those who avoid being in relationships because they can focus more on their studies. In conclusion, students with separate classes will excel in their educational field,
however
, the kids who attend combination classrooms will be successful in their studies
as well as
 some professional career
skills
while
 being in the multi-gender setting which seems fruitful to me.
Submitted by modijainil191919 on

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task achievement
Make sure to provide a more balanced discussion. The essay currently supports mixed classrooms more strongly than separate ones.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea or argument. Although the structure is logical, it could be further refined to ensure each point is sharply focused.
task achievement
Strong introduction that clearly states your opinion.
task achievement
Each argument is supported by relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a logical progression of ideas.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
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