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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that we succeed in sports due to our in born talent, others argue that continuous working on one self is a key to success. What do you think

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In the realm of
sports
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, a perennial debate exists over whether
success
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 is primarily a result of innate
talent
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 or continuous hard
work
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.
While
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 it is undeniable that natural
talent
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 provides a solid foundation for athletic prowess, I firmly believe that relentless dedication and consistent effort are the ultimate determinants of
success
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 in
sports
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.
Firstly
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, natural
talent
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 undoubtedly plays a significant role in providing
athletes
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 with a competitive edge. Those born with exceptional physical abilities,
such
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 as speed, agility, and coordination, often find it easier to excel in
sports
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 from a young age.
This
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 innate advantage can set them apart from their peers and provide a head start in their athletic careers.
For example
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, many legendary
athletes
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,
such
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 as Usain Bolt and Serena Williams, have been lauded for their extraordinary natural abilities that were apparent even in their early years.
However
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, relying solely on inborn
talent
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 can be a double-edged sword.
Talent
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 without hard
work
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 is often wasted. The history of
sports
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 is replete with examples of prodigiously talented individuals who failed to reach their potential
due to
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 a lack of discipline, perseverance, and dedication.
On the other hand
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, numerous
athletes
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 with modest natural abilities have achieved greatness through sheer hard
work
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 and relentless determination. A prime example is Michael Jordan, who, despite not being the most naturally gifted player, became a basketball legend through his unwavering commitment to improvement and an unparalleled
work
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 ethic.
Moreover
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, continuous hard
work
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 fosters resilience and mental toughness, essential attributes for
success
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 in
sports
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. The journey to athletic excellence is fraught with challenges, setbacks, and failures.
Athletes
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 who cultivate a habit of relentless practice and self-improvement are better equipped to overcome these obstacles. They develop a growth mindset, viewing failures as opportunities to learn and grow, rather than insurmountable barriers.
This
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 resilience is often the distinguishing factor between those who achieve lasting
success
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 and those who fall by the wayside.
In addition
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, the modern
sports
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 landscape demands more than just physical prowess. Strategic thinking, tactical awareness, and the ability to adapt to different situations are crucial for
success
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. These skills are honed through continuous learning, practice, and experience.
Athletes
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 who dedicate themselves to studying their sport, analyzing their performance, and constantly seeking ways to improve are the ones who ultimately achieve sustained
success
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. In conclusion,
while
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 natural
talent
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 provides a valuable head start in
sports
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, it is the continuous effort, hard
work
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, and dedication that ultimately determine
success
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. The combination of innate ability and relentless perseverance creates a powerful synergy that propels
athletes
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 to the pinnacle of their
sports
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.
Therefore
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, I firmly believe that continuous working on oneself is the key to achieving lasting
success
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 in
sports
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.

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task achievement
To push your essay to a higher band, you could enhance your argument by including a counter-argument and then refute it. This would show a greater depth of critical thinking and provide a more balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Some transitional words and phrases could be clearer and more varied. Although the essay is cohesive, varied transitional phrases can further improve the flow.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is engaging and clearly sets up the essay's topic and your viewpoint.
logical structure
The essay is well-structured with clear logical progression, which makes it easy to follow your argument.
supported main points
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as Usain Bolt, Serena Williams, and Michael Jordan, which support your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural abilities
  • inborn talent
  • genetically gifted
  • work ethic
  • consistent practice
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • dedication
  • physical fitness
  • mental toughness
  • refinement of skills
  • real-life examples
  • athletic performance
  • raw talent
  • training regimen
What to do next:
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