It is generally believed that some people are born with talents, for instance sport or music, and others are not. however, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sport person. discuss both views and give your opinion

There is an inconclusive debate as to whether talents,
such
as sports or music, are natural abilities or learning
skills
.Both of these views will be outlined in detail before the conclusion is reached. The fact that
people
are born with different potentials is undeniable.Some professional sports players or famous musicians are born with
skills
beyond the standard level.
For example
,Taylor Swift who is a famous American singer discovered her musical
skills
when she was just a child and pursued her career since
then
without distraction to other career paths ,so it can be said that she had a gift to become an entertainer.
Additionally
,
there
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
will require more
time
if
people
want to be trained in the area they do not have an inborn ability than
people
who are born with it.
On the other hand
,Natural talents alone are not the only key to success ,for repetitive training programs are
also
vital.
In other words
,athletes with high potential cannot represent countries in the Olympic games without dedicating their own personal
time
to numerous hours of practising.
This
clearly can be seen from the news behind
Olympic's
Change noun form
Olympic
show examples
players’ success,sacrificing their teenage
time
in order to achieve their goals.
Moreover
, scientific research found that the human brain has a tendency to develop if
people
spend
time
on that field more than 10,000 hours. To summarize,Not only
skills
are congenital,but
also
constant discipline is important component for
people
who have a desire to be top of their field.From my point of view,Discovering your suitable
skills
and improving in that area is the key to success.
Submitted by chawanat.pla on

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task achievement
The essay adequately addresses the task by discussing both views and presenting an opinion. However, the introduction could more clearly outline the structure of the essay. Try to provide a brief overview of what each paragraph will discuss to guide the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that transitions between ideas and paragraphs are smooth to enhance cohesion. Consider using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow between your points.
coherence cohesion
Conclude with a more decisive statement or a summary that clearly reflects your opinion stated at the beginning. This will help tie the essay together nicely.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant and concrete examples, such as the reference to Taylor Swift and Olympic athletes, which effectively illustrate the points made.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with explanations, which adds depth to the argument.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear logical structure present, with distinct paragraphs addressing individual aspects of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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