The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In recent years, the issue of the fact that the best tactic to decrease
poverty
in developing nations is by giving up to six years of free
education
in order that they can at least have literate
skills
and utilize numbers. In my viewpoint, I do not regard myself as an advocate of
this
idea.
Firstly
, it is obvious
to note
Verb problem
apply
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that the state plays a paramount
significant
Correct word choice
apply
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role in giving financial support to the educational system for personnel in the future. And the explanation for
this
is that schooling helps
labor
Change the spelling
labour
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workforces digest insightful knowledge, which contributes to the economic development of their nation.
For instance
, current jobs require employees to have literate
skills
to create contracts or backbone industry provides a myriad of jobs
such
as accountant or financier who
needs
Correct subject-verb agreement
need
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math
skills
to calculate numbers.
Hence
, it is crucial for the government to invest in
this
significant backbone industry to reduce
poverty
. Even though giving six years of
education
without cost is effective in reducing
poverty
, providing them
vocational
Change preposition
with vocational
show examples
skills
can bring more great effects than that. Chief of
this
is that being taught
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
skills
can provide poor people with income-making
ability
Fix the agreement mistake
abilities
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. To be more specific, the authorities who supply courses
such
as weaving, knitting or engineering
skills
for the poor will help them be able to meet job requirements
although
their level of
education
is not high compared to people who have literate
skills
and math
skills
.
Thus
, vocationally trained people can pay for their own needs and provide enough for their families financially. In conclusion, giving free
six year
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six-year
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education
plays a paramount imperative role
to decrease
Change preposition
in decreasing
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poverty
, but
this
is not the best tactic
due to
the necessity of providing vocational
skills
.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument and addresses both sides of the issue. However, you should aim to structure your introduction more effectively, by clearly outlining your stance from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Some of your paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and more detailed explanations. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-developed.
task achievement
You have provided relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your stance.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • poverty alleviation
  • functional literacy
  • numeracy skills
  • educational opportunity
  • employment prospects
  • critical thinking
  • empowerment
  • inequality reduction
  • sustainable development
  • innovation
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