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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that we succeed in sports due to our in born talent, others argue that continuous working on one self is a key to success. What do you think?

#people #sports #talent #self #success
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Some people believe that
success
 in sports is primarily
due to
 inborn talent,
while
 others argue that continuous hard
work
 is the key to achieving
success
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both perspectives and share my own opinion.
Firstly
, it is often observed that certain traits can be noticed in children from a very young age, even before they begin to speak.
This
 suggests that innate abilities play a significant role in one’s potential.
Additionally
, scientists have found that children inherit certain characteristics from their parents through genes, which can influence their talents and abilities.
On the other hand
, focusing on improving one’s skills through dedicated practice is essential. Many successful athletes attribute their achievements to relentless hard
work
 and perseverance. Regular practice helps to sharpen skills and improve performance over time. In my opinion,
while
 natural talent is important, it is the continuous effort and dedication to honing one’s abilities that truly lead to
success
. It is crucial to identify our hidden talents by seeking feedback from family and friends who know us well. Once we recognize our strengths, we must
work
 diligently to develop and refine these skills to achieve our full potential.
This
 balanced approach of recognizing innate talent and committing to hard
work
 is, in my view, the true path to
success
 in sports.
Submitted by a.junini7 on

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task achievement
To enhance your task achievement score, try including more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied transitional phrases to connect your ideas. This will help your essay flow even more smoothly.
task achievement
You provided a well-organized and balanced discussion of both perspectives, which shows a clear and insightful understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your use of a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion contributed to the overall coherence of the essay.
task achievement
You presented your opinion and supported it effectively, demonstrating a good command of argumentative writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural abilities
  • inborn talent
  • genetically gifted
  • work ethic
  • consistent practice
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • dedication
  • physical fitness
  • mental toughness
  • refinement of skills
  • real-life examples
  • athletic performance
  • raw talent
  • training regimen
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