The consumption of the world’s resources (oil, water, etc.) is increasing at a dangerous rate. What are the causes of this? What can people do to reduce the consumption?”

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There is ongoing debate over whether schools should place more emphasis on
science
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and
technology
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subjects or treat artistic disciplines
such
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as
music
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and
art
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with equal importance.
While
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science
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and
technology
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are undoubtedly crucial for national development and innovation, I believe that the arts play an equally significant role in fostering creativity, emotional intelligence, and personal well-being. Supporters of prioritising
science
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and
technology
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argue that these fields are essential for economic progress and problem-solving in modern societies. As industries increasingly rely on technological advancements, schools are expected to produce graduates with the technical knowledge and skills needed in the workforce.
For instance
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, countries like Germany and South Korea have made heavy investments in STEM education, resulting in innovation-driven economies and global competitiveness.
Furthermore
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,
science
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-based fields are directly linked to essential services
such
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as healthcare, infrastructure, and environmental sustainability.
On the other hand
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, many argue—and I agree—that
art
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and
music
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offer unique benefits that are just as vital as technical knowledge. Creative subjects support emotional expression, cultural awareness, and mental health.
For example
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, research has shown that students involved in
music
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and
art
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programmes are less likely to suffer from anxiety and often demonstrate better focus and emotional regulation. These subjects
also
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nurture creativity and innovation—qualities that are increasingly valued in all professional fields, not just the arts. Ignoring these areas may lead to a generation of students who are technically skilled but lack the emotional depth and critical thinking abilities needed to thrive in diverse environments. In conclusion,
while
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science
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and
technology
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are essential for a nation’s progress, the value of
art
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and
music
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in education should not be underestimated. A balanced curriculum that supports both logical reasoning and creative expression is key to developing well-rounded, capable individuals.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more specific examples in the body paragraphs to further support your main points. While you do mention countries like Germany and South Korea, additional examples could help reinforce your argument regarding the benefits of arts education.
Coherence and Cohesion
In your introduction, you might also briefly outline the structure of your essay in a sentence. This can help to provide clarity and set expectations for the reader.
Coherence and Cohesion
When concluding your essay, you could briefly restate the main points made in the body paragraphs to reinforce your arguments succinctly before summarizing your overall stance.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument that balances both sides of the debate, effectively illustrating the importance of both science and arts in education.
Coherence and Cohesion
The coherence of your ideas throughout the essay is strong, with logical progression and clear paragraphing, making it easy for the reader to follow your line of reasoning.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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