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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

#parents #children #toys #child #numbers
Some individuals get their children a good number of
toys
. Little ones always are happy after receiving a tool of joy,
while
 grown people spend a lot of their money on these playthings which
also
 evolve over time.
Firstly
, babies will not be upset if their parent buys them a
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
show examples
toy
. The young group of society are able to do anything with a
toy
 which makes their thinking and imagining skills way better and more usable.
For instance
, it has been proved by physiologists, that there is a connection between brain cells and brush nerves which means the
Lego type
Add a hyphen
Lego-type
show examples
toys
 impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids' coordination, memory, concentration and creativity in a good way.
However
, many of these products are unaffordable for
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
ones
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Especially with the new modern baubles, it damages their budget badly. New technologies affected the
toy
 industry very much and
toy
 companies say that since they need more resources than regular
toys
, their worth
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 more valuable.
For example
, the latest invention for children was a magnet-based constructor which was made in 2005 and if we talk about the price in Kazakhstan,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
 cost is around 50000 tenge for an average size. In conclusion, even though these products are extremely fun and useful for children's improvement process, it's really hard to keep up with them and
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 new
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
 every single time. It is recommended, that in third-world countries, price rates for
toys
 should be lowered as technologies get better, prices
also
 skyrocket.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical structure of the essay by ensuring a smoother flow of ideas from one paragraph to another. Transitional phrases can be useful in this regard.
task achievement
Ensure each main point has adequate supporting details and examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
grammar vocabulary
Try to vary sentence structures and enhance vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and professional.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear context for the discussion and sets up the essay well.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a thoughtful recommendation, which adds depth to the discussion.
task achievement
Using specific examples, such as the study by physiologists and the magnet-based constructor, helps illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • stimulate creativity
  • imagination
  • fine and gross motor skills
  • hand-eye coordination
  • overwhelmed
  • focus
  • value
  • appreciation
  • neglect
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • meaningful activities
  • interactions
What to do next:
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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