Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

#parents #children #toys #child #numbers

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Some individuals get their children a good number of

toys

. Little ones always are happy after receiving a tool of joy,

while

grown people spend a lot of their money on these playthings which

also

evolve over time.

Firstly

, babies will not be upset if their parent buys them a

brand new

Add a hyphen

brand-new

show examples

toy

. The young group of society are able to do anything with a

toy

which makes their thinking and imagining skills way better and more usable.

For instance

, it has been proved by physiologists, that there is a connection between brain cells and brush nerves which means the

Lego type

Add a hyphen

Lego-type

show examples

toys

impact

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids' coordination, memory, concentration and creativity in a good way.

However

, many of these products are unaffordable for

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

ones

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Especially with the new modern baubles, it damages their budget badly. New technologies affected the

toy

industry very much and

toy

companies say that since they need more resources than regular

toys

, their worth

are

Change the verb form

show examples

more valuable.

For example

, the latest invention for children was a magnet-based constructor which was made in 2005 and if we talk about the price in Kazakhstan,

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

cost is around 50000 tenge for an average size. In conclusion, even though these products are extremely fun and useful for children's improvement process, it's really hard to keep up with them and

purchasing

Wrong verb form

purchase

show examples

new

one

Correct pronoun usage

ones

show examples

every single time. It is recommended, that in third-world countries, price rates for

toys

should be lowered as technologies get better, prices

also

skyrocket.

Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on Wed Jul 17 2024

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coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical structure of the essay by ensuring a smoother flow of ideas from one paragraph to another. Transitional phrases can be useful in this regard.

task achievement

Ensure each main point has adequate supporting details and examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

grammar vocabulary

Try to vary sentence structures and enhance vocabulary to make the essay more engaging and professional.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction provides a clear context for the discussion and sets up the essay well.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a thoughtful recommendation, which adds depth to the discussion.

task achievement

Using specific examples, such as the study by physiologists and the magnet-based constructor, helps illustrate your points effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

248 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

stimulate creativity
imagination
fine and gross motor skills
hand-eye coordination
overwhelmed
focus
value
appreciation
neglect
consumerism
materialism
meaningful activities
interactions

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Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having large numbers of toys.

Fully explain your ideas

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Rich countries are getting richer while poorer countries are getting poorer. What is the cause of this? What could be done to solve this problem?

Writing task 2: The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in towns and cities closing. Do you agree or disagree?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.