Some people think that competition at work, school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
There
have
been Change the verb form
has
growth
Correct article usage
a growth
demand
for being successful at work, at school and in daily Change preposition
in demand
life
. While
it is argued that competition in life
can lead to get
achievements. In my opinion, working together as a team and Verb problem
apply
cooperate
with each other leads to better incomes.
On the one hand, competing with each other can be Wrong verb form
cooperating
as
an engine of personal success. People always think that they are participating in Change preposition
apply
competition
, and it would be a great motivation for them. They put much power Add an article
the competition
a competition
to do
their best to get better consequences. Change preposition
into doing
Because of competition
in daily Change preposition
Competition
life
can extremely motivate to improving
their skills and achieve personal goals. Wrong verb form
improve
For example
, athletes competing in sport
always try to do their best result make Fix the agreement mistake
sports
a new records
.
Correct the article-noun agreement
a new record
new records
On the other hand
, cooperation can give more results. For instance
, in company
employees are working together toward a common goal. Cooperation among employees can lead to more creative Correct article usage
a company
solution
and Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
associate
with Wrong verb form
is associated
more
positive work environment. In education cooperative learning in Correct article usage
a more
team
can introduce Fix the agreement mistake
teams
to
effective learning in schools and universities. Because students try to help and explain to each other Change preposition
apply
during
they are studying together, Correct word choice
while
also
they can rely on each other. In addition
, in daily life
cooperation with each other can create a sense of honesty and trust.
In conclusion, there are
value Change the verb form
is
for
competing at work, school and daily Change preposition
in
life
, I would argue that the benefits of cooperating with each other are more significant, because people need support.Submitted by daulet93mail.ru on
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task achievement
Your introduction provides a good overview of the topic and presents your opinion clearly. However, you should aim for more clarity in your statements. Try to avoid awkward phrasing, such as 'can lead to get achievements.' Instead, you could say, 'can lead to achieving success.'
task achievement
Your arguments are generally clear, but some sentences are difficult to follow. For example, 'Because of competition in daily life can extremely motivate to improving their skills and achieve personal goals.' This sentence could be simplified to be more clear, e.g., 'Competition in daily life can strongly motivate individuals to improve their skills and achieve personal goals.'
task achievement
Although you have discussed both sides of the argument, some points lack depth. Try to provide more specific examples and elaborate on your points. For instance, when discussing cooperation, you could include concrete examples of successful teamwork in companies or schools.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. The paragraph on competition is followed by a paragraph on cooperation, but there should be clearer transitions to show the relationship between the two ideas. Use transitional phrases like, 'On the contrary,' or 'In contrast,' to make the switch smoother.
coherence cohesion
The essay can benefit from a stronger conclusion. Restate your main points and reinforce your opinion. Instead of 'there are value for competing,' you could say, 'while competition has its merits, the benefits of cooperation are more substantial.'
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well.
complete response
Both sides of the argument are addressed, showing that you can discuss a topic from multiple perspectives.
relevant specific examples
Your ideas are relevant to the topic and you have included examples to support your views, such as the mention of athletes and company employees.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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