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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with prediction for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #prediction
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the percentage of the population in
four
Use synonyms
 Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with
prediction
Fix the agreement mistake
predictions
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 for 2030 and 2040. The
four
Use synonyms
 countries in the graph are
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
, Malaysia, Thailand and Indonesia.
Overall
Linking Words
, all
four
Use synonyms
 states have an upward trend generally but, the portion of
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
 declined once, from 1990 to 2010 and the Thailand population kept
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 figure from 1990 to 2020. In 2020, over 80% of people who were in Malaysia lived in cities. Considering only 30% of Malaysians lived in urban in 1970, it's a huge development and change. Focusing on the prediction for 2030 and 2040, the number of people who are living in cities in every
states
Change to a singular noun
state
show examples
 will increase. The portion of Malaysia,Indonesia and Philippines will be over 50% in 2040
however
Linking Words
 the percentage of Thai will be slightly under 50%. Even though less than 15% of Indonesians lived in urban areas in 1970, almost 60%
people
Change preposition
of people
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 will stay in urban places in 2040, which is the
second highest
Add a hyphen
second-highest
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 figure among
of
Change preposition
apply
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these
four
Use synonyms
 countries.
Submitted by starmino0113 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 79%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words four with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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