IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe environmental problems require global attention whereas some believe they can be dealt with on a national level. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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people have different views about whether environmental
issues
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 require global-
level
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 attention or national-
level
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 dealing.
While
Linking Words
 handling these vital
issues
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 at a global
level
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 can be beneficial in addressing
issues
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 like climate change and providing hands to smaller
nations
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, I believe that handling them at a national
level
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 can provide unique responsibilities to each country. On the one hand, when global cooperation takes precedence in addressing environmental problems, it can apply global
policies
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 across the
nations
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 to strictly follow the guidelines to keep the surroundings pollution-free.
However
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, it paves the way to help smaller
nations
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 for research, innovations and technological improvements that cannot afford them independently.
For example
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, new
policies
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 introduced at the global
level
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 to reduce global warming
issues
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 with electrical vehicles were introduced by well-developed countries at first and the footprints were followed by developing
nations
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 later.
Therefore
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 it will help in addressing the
issues
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 globally and support the non-affluent
nations
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 significantly.
On the other hand
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, it is perhaps even more important to address these
issues
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 at the national
level
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. The reason behind
this
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 is, that it will allow the
nations
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 to take necessary actions
according to
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 their people's behaviour and needs
whereas
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 they will take additional responsibilities to save their
nations
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 in their own way.
Moreover
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, it will provide the opportunity to implement any rules faster than awaiting approval.
For instance
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,
issues
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 like waste management, and clean water policy do not require other country's intervention.
Hence
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 applying their own
policies
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 will make them stand apart from others and will make them a role model to inspire others through successful national
policies
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. In conclusion,
although
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 there are numerous benefits available if action is being taken at the global
level
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 to reduce the stress on affording costs for low-income countries and implementing new
policies
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 across countries, I believe actions that are being taken by
nations
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 serve their purpose well in a properly designed way to raise their standard.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Some of your ideas feel slightly disjointed, and using more linking words can help the flow of the essay.
task achievement
Provide a few more specific examples to support your main points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Work on elaborating some of your ideas with more comprehensive details. While the essay covers the topic well, expanding on certain points would provide a richer discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You have appropriately divided your argument to discuss both sides.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
You addressed the task comprehensively by discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion, which meets the expectations of the task response criterion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • global cooperation
  • uniform policies
  • cross-border environmental issues
  • climate change
  • ocean pollution
  • tailored solutions
  • specific environmental challenges
  • international treaties
  • Paris Agreement
  • collective action
  • accountability
  • resources
  • developed countries
  • global balance
  • local governments
  • adaptable
  • emerging environmental issues
  • global consensus
  • pooling research
  • technology
  • innovations
  • sense of ownership
  • responsibility
  • local authorities
  • pioneers
  • role models
  • successful national policies
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